You know what we suck at? Okay, maybe it's just me, but I'm betting not. We suck at being open enough to say I'm not doing so well, I'm hurting...I'm not sure I can do this. I'm struggling. Granted we have to have a safe place to do just that. But sometimes we don't share the burden even when we do.
Now you can share the burden and the outcome may be the same. Or you can share the burden and things are entirely different. Even if the outcome is the same. We need a safe place to be a hot mess. I see this in the world of animal rescue and I see it in human relationships.
We have foster dogs who come in with no sense of what is acceptable or not. No sense of a loving gentle hand. Funny, humans have the same issues. We react to drama, to trauma, to lack of love. We might lash out, or withdraw, we might bite the hand that feeds us. Pretty sure every foster dog we've had came in with the need to let go of the past, and find love in the future. They could just be, hot mess and all, and we could love them to newness. Is it easy? No. Is it the same journey every time. Never. It involves risk. The risk of owning our struggles. Of owning our journey. And it's messy. Lord knows we don't like messy. Messy suggests a lack of control. Holy moley, who has a surplus of control in their lives? Not me, for sure.
Now while we may suck at things it doesn't mean they have to define us. If you have a need to connect, the connection will be provided. Your job is to take that risk and embrace the outcome. It's okay to not have it all together. It's okay to struggle. And it's a blessing to share that we do. Trust me on this one.
Wednesday, May 18, 2016
Thursday, May 12, 2016
What do you believe?
What if you are stuck in the "I can't" instead of the "I Can". Paralyzed by the "it will never" instead of open to the "yes, it can". What if your ears were relieved of the minutia of life so that you could hear the divine. What if? What if?
Maybe then you would see the gifts, the opportunities. Perhaps then you could see the miracles. What is stopping you? Is it pride? Is it fear? Is it being comfortable with the chaos instead of letting go and moving on? Perhaps the pain and suffering is necessary. I rather think it is.
What if we were quick learners instead of slow learners? What if hitting bottom was the beginning, not the end.
I can't learn your lessons for you. I can share my thoughts, make suggestions. In the end your heart is open or it's closed. There is not much middle ground. One way everything is a miracle, and the other nothing is. Listen carefully.
Maybe then you would see the gifts, the opportunities. Perhaps then you could see the miracles. What is stopping you? Is it pride? Is it fear? Is it being comfortable with the chaos instead of letting go and moving on? Perhaps the pain and suffering is necessary. I rather think it is.
What if we were quick learners instead of slow learners? What if hitting bottom was the beginning, not the end.
I can't learn your lessons for you. I can share my thoughts, make suggestions. In the end your heart is open or it's closed. There is not much middle ground. One way everything is a miracle, and the other nothing is. Listen carefully.
Saturday, May 7, 2016
Momming
I've been a Mom for a long time. Long enough that I wish I could go back and do those younger years over. So I could sit and read to them, or rock them to sleep, or hold their hands as we crossed the street. Now I find the roles have shifted somewhat. I go to them for help and encouragement as much as they come to me. Maybe more.
Sometimes I still can't resist saying typical Mom things. Let me know when you get home, make wise choices. Remember my birthday is in August and you don't forget me when you win the lottery.
I'll admit to envying people who have close, loving, healthy relationships with their Mom's. Mine relationship was never exactly where I wanted it to be. So I feel both envious and a bit detached on Mother's Day. It is what it is. I know without that relationship I would not be the Mom I am today. So for that I give many thanks.
I'm probably more versatile at being a dog Mom, than I was a human Mom. Dog throws up, no big deal. Clean it up, move on. Baby throws up, I'd get a bit excited. Toddler throws up and I shared the urge to hurl myself, sometimes I did. I do find it telling that we have three dogs at all times, the same number of children I had. Two males and a female...another interesting coincidence. Not planned, but a happy bit of serendipity.
For Mom's I hope and pray it fills your heart, it does mine. If you don't have children of your own, I hope you find children to connect with and share your love. All of us need a little Mothering, a tender touch, a shoulder to lean on. All of us have a child within who needs acceptance and encouragement. Be that person.
Sometimes I still can't resist saying typical Mom things. Let me know when you get home, make wise choices. Remember my birthday is in August and you don't forget me when you win the lottery.
I'll admit to envying people who have close, loving, healthy relationships with their Mom's. Mine relationship was never exactly where I wanted it to be. So I feel both envious and a bit detached on Mother's Day. It is what it is. I know without that relationship I would not be the Mom I am today. So for that I give many thanks.
I'm probably more versatile at being a dog Mom, than I was a human Mom. Dog throws up, no big deal. Clean it up, move on. Baby throws up, I'd get a bit excited. Toddler throws up and I shared the urge to hurl myself, sometimes I did. I do find it telling that we have three dogs at all times, the same number of children I had. Two males and a female...another interesting coincidence. Not planned, but a happy bit of serendipity.
For Mom's I hope and pray it fills your heart, it does mine. If you don't have children of your own, I hope you find children to connect with and share your love. All of us need a little Mothering, a tender touch, a shoulder to lean on. All of us have a child within who needs acceptance and encouragement. Be that person.
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