Ever notice how you see things in multiples? You think about buying a red car, and you see red cars everywhere. You fall in love with a lab puppy, and you see lab puppies all over. It is about heightened awareness. For someone who has lost a loved one to suicide, you become uber aware of others losses to suicide.
I read somewhere this week that at least 6 peoples lives are completely changed from the loss of someone to suicide. Irrevocably changed, at least 6, sometimes more. It's not something you get over, at best it's something you get through. Each day it's a different challenge. Some days you hold on by the thinnest thread, some days you step forward, sometimes you step back, some days you merely huddle until you can move again.
Thus far, I find the isolation so difficult. No one speaks of Gordon, or the choice that took his life. No one speaks of the good memories, although I hope sometime they will. It is like a whole section of life vanished as if it never existed. I myself struggle with talking about it so I take responsibility as well.
It's not something that happens only to some people, it is all around us. Like those red cars and lab puppies, but infinitely painful. I am being led by faith down this road. I will write about it, and as this type of loss is all around us, I hope to ease another's pain by owning and sharing the journey.
