I polled some of my facebook friends with the following question....If you were getting married again, what three things would be most important for the celebration. I did say that it was a given that the groom is a good guy. So listing a good guy would not count.
After many responses I queried again because no one mention a lovely dress as a requirement. Only one replied and called me a silly goose. She insists a beautiful dress is absolutely a given. Phfewww....
I did ponder that no men answered my initial question. But then, most of my FB friends are women. And what do women love to talk about? Weddings, well, duh.
We do love to talk about, dream about, read about, fantasized about, plan, wonder and experience weddings. My informal survey confirmed having your kids there (if you are a parent) was mandatory, keeping it simple, make it meaningful for the bride and groom, and incorporating personal tastes were important. All that said, I still admit to feeling funny about planning another wedding.
I do not feel funny about the prospect of being married again. Except for the slight worry that I may not live up to expectation. That reality that some days will really bite, that forgiveness is sometimes much like childbirth (exhausting, painful, requires major expulsion of objects), and lastly that I didn't learn near enough the first time around.
I know I'm much smarter, I just hope in the ways that count. I will say, the older I get, the more amazed I am at really young couples marching down the aisle with no fear, little life experience and rusty common sense. True, true, not all of them are like that. More than enough, but not quite all of them.
Ever notice how no one ever says - hey, how do you keep your marriage alive? Or, wow, what's your secret? Yes, when you hit those really significant anniversaries you get asked for the keys to a long (happy) relationship. But, holy moley, many of need to know this stuff now!
Perhaps life is just like that. We have just enough knowledge to get us to the next life lesson. Lessons are good - they teach us what really matters.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Showers
I went to a bridal shower for my niece last weekend. I must admit I re-gifted at it. Actually it was a family piece I gifted.
All of the brides in my family received a Kitchen Madonna when they got married. As I now had mine and my Mom's it seemed like a good time to pass one on. Now, a Kitchen Madonna is a religious ornament that depicts the Mother of Jesus in the kitchen. I never pondered the fact that Mary had to cook, clean and chase after baby Jesus. My guess is she may have spent more time in the kitchen that I ever have.
I realize that modern brides may not take time to honor Mary with a statue or plaque like us old brides grew up doing. Here is my hope. That my niece be blessed in her kitchen and in all the rooms of her marriage. That she always knows she is loved. That her Kitchen Madonna find some small place of honor in her kitchen. That she remembers many Mother's support her journey in life. That life continues to shower her with blessings.
We all have gifts, and sharing, even regifting, is sometimes a very good thing.
All of the brides in my family received a Kitchen Madonna when they got married. As I now had mine and my Mom's it seemed like a good time to pass one on. Now, a Kitchen Madonna is a religious ornament that depicts the Mother of Jesus in the kitchen. I never pondered the fact that Mary had to cook, clean and chase after baby Jesus. My guess is she may have spent more time in the kitchen that I ever have.
I realize that modern brides may not take time to honor Mary with a statue or plaque like us old brides grew up doing. Here is my hope. That my niece be blessed in her kitchen and in all the rooms of her marriage. That she always knows she is loved. That her Kitchen Madonna find some small place of honor in her kitchen. That she remembers many Mother's support her journey in life. That life continues to shower her with blessings.
We all have gifts, and sharing, even regifting, is sometimes a very good thing.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Slow Process
There is a lot to be said for finding love again. Granted, some find it again, and again, and again. But, there is even more to say about finding and keeping it. Keeping it may be the most challenging part.
I'm still learning about what I didn't know the first time around. When you pledge your life to one another it includes good days, bad days, pay days, sick days, rainy days and Mondays. You name it - it includes it.
More than once smothering has sounded like a viable solution. Other times, a contemplative life of silence has it's appeal. We were both sick over the weekend. That sucked. He didn't have the energy to nurture me, I was tempted to, well, you know..... Instead I prayed the Serenity Prayer and waited for the urge to pass. I've always been the one who kept going even if I was sick, so it frustrates me when others don't keep plugging away. I'm thinking we can learn from each other on this issue.
I need to gear down a little and someone who's name has not been mentioned can pick up a little slack. And vice versa. It's part of being life partners. It's part of marriage. It may be a slow process, but we're moving in the right direction.
I'm still learning about what I didn't know the first time around. When you pledge your life to one another it includes good days, bad days, pay days, sick days, rainy days and Mondays. You name it - it includes it.
More than once smothering has sounded like a viable solution. Other times, a contemplative life of silence has it's appeal. We were both sick over the weekend. That sucked. He didn't have the energy to nurture me, I was tempted to, well, you know..... Instead I prayed the Serenity Prayer and waited for the urge to pass. I've always been the one who kept going even if I was sick, so it frustrates me when others don't keep plugging away. I'm thinking we can learn from each other on this issue.
I need to gear down a little and someone who's name has not been mentioned can pick up a little slack. And vice versa. It's part of being life partners. It's part of marriage. It may be a slow process, but we're moving in the right direction.
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