Life Is Hard, Life Is Lovely

I have to wonder sometimes if I will ever fully regain joy and enthusiasm. Was that taken from me on the roads of life? Was it a thing of youth?  Do you ever feel this way? I know life is hard, I know I am blessed beyond measure. I know I have more than I ever imagined, more than I deserve. Still sometimes sadness tips the scale.

Then I wonder am I where I need to be, doing what I'm meant to do? I referenced that recently and a friend immediately said, oh yes you are. You were meant to be right here with us. I loved her immediate affirmation. I need to remember that. I know that the biggest moments in life can be miniscule in scope yet enormous in impact. Such is the juxtaposition of life. That said who doesn't need more affirmation?

I am not a thrill seeker, or a risk taker. I really lead a quiet life. Sometimes too quiet, but hey, I am an introvert by nature. A creature of habit. So, I am trying to do new things, or old things differently. Small things that only I will know are different. Little changes in routine, small indulgences to mix it up. It is a conscious effort to experience life differently. Perhaps the key is to really experience life. Be in the moment. I sometimes get lost in moments long gone.

Where are you in this moment of life. Are you struggling? Are you on hold? Are you wishing life was different? Is your faith a bit shaky and your dreams tattered? Are you looking forward with complete anticipation? Are you doing the happy dance? Are you filled with peace and gratitude. It all changes moment to moment. So, it's okay to have one foot in faith and one in fear. To be happy and sad, to feel lost and at the same time found. Life is hard, and life is lovely. And I'm here to share it with you. 

Sowing Seeds

Seeds. We plant them all the time. Metaphorically speaking we may plant them without even knowing we're doing it. Other times we plant very deliberately. Sometimes they grow, sometimes they don't. Sometimes they lay dormant. There are prayers I've prayed that are like seeds that have yet to show signs of growth. They were planted, tended, watered and yet nothing. Or they grew in ways I never expected. Growing yet never producing. Growing and then perishing. Some growing and blossoming. The way of it all is a mystery to me.

As mysterious as tucking a small hard seed into the ground and covering it with soil and faith. I don't know why it works. It just does. I'll never understand the times things I nurtured self-destructed. I'll always wonder why growth is so tenuous sometimes and so vigorous another. I'll marvel when the outcomes are greater than I've ever hoped. I'll weep as needed over losses that defy understanding.

 

I'll plant seeds of hope and gratitude. I'll plant because I believe in the possibilities. I'll pray over those planted long, long ago and those planted just recently. I'll delight when they break ground, and marvel at the miracle of it all. Trusting in the process of growth.