Back in the day, when I was young, had great legs and no corns, bunions, or screws/plates in my ankle I wore tennis shoes, sandals, birkenstocks, or rather sedate pumps with suits. Now that I'm all about comfort in shoes, I wear croc's and Dansko shoes.
I have to find shoes for a friends wedding. The croc's and Dansko's won't cut it. When I could have worn strappy sandals and big heels I didn't. Now that I can't, I want to. Doesn't that just figure?
The mission is to find a pair of silver shoes. Pretty, dressy, with a heel of some sort that I can navigate a fancy dress in. If I can find a good pair, I hope to use them for my own wedding shoes. And, I hope not to need traction when I take them off.
Some women live for shoes. I am not that sort of woman. Some women have closet's full of shoes. I am not that woman. But sometimes only a pretty, sassy, fun shoe will do. A wedding definitely counts as one of those times.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Rings & Things
In a girls life, few things are as symbolic as an engagement ring or a wedding dress. If you pare down all the other trappings of a wedding, I'm fairly certain the dress and the ring would be least expendable.
Okay, let me back up just a wee bit here. The groom is the most important! Don't get me wrong. Grooms are pretty crucial to the whole marriage thingy. Choosing the right groom can make or break a marriage. After that the ring and the dress fall in place.
As to the ring, it is a symbol of love and commitment. They come in all shapes and sizes, much like the bride and groom themselves. Some spend a fortune on them, way more than the investment of self into the relationship. Some are simple in nature, some are family heirlooms, some, like ours, is a bit of both of us.
Following my divorce I traded in my wedding set, selected a new stone and had a right-hand ring made. When I travelled, I also wore it sometimes on my left, as a "leave-me-alone" ring. Bling has always been a passion of mine, so it was a pretty decent stone. We decided to use that stone in my ring. I'll admit economics factored in, spending money for something we already had seemed silly to both of us. My beloved provided the setting, I provided the center stone. It is unique to us, and reflects part of our life journey.
It's about making the best out of second chances. It's a bit of him and a bit of me. It honors the past and symbolizes the future. Now, I know some women could never feel comfortable with this choice. But, I'm not most women. It melds two hearts, two lives....it works for us and that's all that matters.
Okay, let me back up just a wee bit here. The groom is the most important! Don't get me wrong. Grooms are pretty crucial to the whole marriage thingy. Choosing the right groom can make or break a marriage. After that the ring and the dress fall in place.
As to the ring, it is a symbol of love and commitment. They come in all shapes and sizes, much like the bride and groom themselves. Some spend a fortune on them, way more than the investment of self into the relationship. Some are simple in nature, some are family heirlooms, some, like ours, is a bit of both of us.
Following my divorce I traded in my wedding set, selected a new stone and had a right-hand ring made. When I travelled, I also wore it sometimes on my left, as a "leave-me-alone" ring. Bling has always been a passion of mine, so it was a pretty decent stone. We decided to use that stone in my ring. I'll admit economics factored in, spending money for something we already had seemed silly to both of us. My beloved provided the setting, I provided the center stone. It is unique to us, and reflects part of our life journey.
It's about making the best out of second chances. It's a bit of him and a bit of me. It honors the past and symbolizes the future. Now, I know some women could never feel comfortable with this choice. But, I'm not most women. It melds two hearts, two lives....it works for us and that's all that matters.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Shopping - A Mission In and of itself!
An out-of-town business trip led me to the largest bridal store East of the Mississippi. May I just say OMG. It is the stuff of dreams. It is bridal heaven, it is amazing....it is Catan's Fashions in Cleveland.
It was the best experience in wedding shopping and the worst. Well, let me explain. Drop of girl into bridal heaven and only give her 60 minutes to shop. There is something very wrong with that. No woman can make a decision that quickly. I needed a couple hours, and a girl friend or two to help with the decision.
Did I find a dream dress? No. But, not because they didn't have anything good to choose from. They had oodles, and I do mean oodles. Oh my! If only I was a size 8-10 again! If only I had really deep pockets. If only tall, sleek and bronze defined my physique.
I have determined what style is most flattering. I have decided that this bride will not wear white (never a consideration anyway) or ivory. I have decided I can look really hot, or really soft and feminine....or a delightful combination of both.
It was a place I'd love to visit again. Time limits made it impossible for me to do the store justice. It did, however, move me along in the process. In that regard it was a successful mission. Each step on this journey brings some joy and some anticipation. And a greater appreciation of what makes a bride a bride, and what makes me a bride too.
It was the best experience in wedding shopping and the worst. Well, let me explain. Drop of girl into bridal heaven and only give her 60 minutes to shop. There is something very wrong with that. No woman can make a decision that quickly. I needed a couple hours, and a girl friend or two to help with the decision.
Did I find a dream dress? No. But, not because they didn't have anything good to choose from. They had oodles, and I do mean oodles. Oh my! If only I was a size 8-10 again! If only I had really deep pockets. If only tall, sleek and bronze defined my physique.
I have determined what style is most flattering. I have decided that this bride will not wear white (never a consideration anyway) or ivory. I have decided I can look really hot, or really soft and feminine....or a delightful combination of both.
It was a place I'd love to visit again. Time limits made it impossible for me to do the store justice. It did, however, move me along in the process. In that regard it was a successful mission. Each step on this journey brings some joy and some anticipation. And a greater appreciation of what makes a bride a bride, and what makes me a bride too.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Dresses
Why is it that every girl dreams of wedding dresses from the time she is a tot? The magic, the fantasy, the princess for a day feeling.
But what if you get a second chance to be a princess? Why does it feel so funny to shop for a second wedding dress? Just because I'm not a blushing bride anymore doesn't mean I don't long to be a beautiful bride.
I went shopping with a girlfriend who is also remarrying. We tried on dresses. Something in me didn't even feel worthy of a wedding dress. Of the hundreds of dress' on the racks there were perhaps 10 dresses total semi-suitable for a more "mature" bride. Of course, part of me snickers even at the term mature bride.
The "Mother's" dresses and the special occasion dresses weren't pretty enough, and the "wedding dresses" weren't, dare I say it.....age appropriate. Egads, I'm in a niche with nothing to wear!
I have to admit some is a confidence issue. Maybe a little of it is a lingering feeling of shame the first marriage didn't last. Funny how long those feelings can haunt you. Why is it one would't think twice of getting a second engagement ring, but having a second dress for that second wedding is out of my comfort zone?
So many thoughts to ponder. So many possible outcomes. So many opportunities to shop, so many options for celebrating ones second chances. I don't know the answers. For right now I don't need to. I just need to be willing to try things on, even dresses, to find the right fit.
But what if you get a second chance to be a princess? Why does it feel so funny to shop for a second wedding dress? Just because I'm not a blushing bride anymore doesn't mean I don't long to be a beautiful bride.
I went shopping with a girlfriend who is also remarrying. We tried on dresses. Something in me didn't even feel worthy of a wedding dress. Of the hundreds of dress' on the racks there were perhaps 10 dresses total semi-suitable for a more "mature" bride. Of course, part of me snickers even at the term mature bride.
The "Mother's" dresses and the special occasion dresses weren't pretty enough, and the "wedding dresses" weren't, dare I say it.....age appropriate. Egads, I'm in a niche with nothing to wear!
I have to admit some is a confidence issue. Maybe a little of it is a lingering feeling of shame the first marriage didn't last. Funny how long those feelings can haunt you. Why is it one would't think twice of getting a second engagement ring, but having a second dress for that second wedding is out of my comfort zone?
So many thoughts to ponder. So many possible outcomes. So many opportunities to shop, so many options for celebrating ones second chances. I don't know the answers. For right now I don't need to. I just need to be willing to try things on, even dresses, to find the right fit.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Wedding Dresses
I've been "shopping" for wedding dresses. Okay, sort of shopping. Well, looking at consignment shops and on Ebay. I know what I want in a dress. Most likely champagne colored, gently used, softly recycled.
This is what I'm finding though......there are ball dresses, sexy wedding dresses, prom/wedding dresses, modest wedding dresses (more my style), maternity wedding dresses (yikes!), informal wedding dresses, destination wedding dresses, temple wedding dresses and vintage wedding dresses.
Wowsers! All sorts of dresses. Most of which seem too formal for me. And, too revealing. But, the fun is in the search and Lord knows we're not in any rush.
I've ruled out the corset look, the strapless style, the ball gown, and the mermaid style. Phfewwww! That narrows down the field. Part of my head is still trying to wrap itself around a wedding dress at all. Of course, I always knew I would remarry. Just need to figure out the re-wedding part of it.
The choices I made the first time around were in some ways not the best. I had no idea what I really liked then, so I don't care to make that mistake again. At the very least I will be an informed buyer, and more educated bride, and I hope to God a much better partner! Plus, I'm going to feel pretty if it's the last damn thing I do. I think cussing when speaking of your future wedding bodes well don't you?
So the search continues. Perhaps whispering to the powers that be might help.....wanted ........beautiful champagne dress for second wedding....soft and appealing, full of hope and promise......magical.....feminine.....not blatantly sexy.....
Now I just watch and wait.
This is what I'm finding though......there are ball dresses, sexy wedding dresses, prom/wedding dresses, modest wedding dresses (more my style), maternity wedding dresses (yikes!), informal wedding dresses, destination wedding dresses, temple wedding dresses and vintage wedding dresses.
Wowsers! All sorts of dresses. Most of which seem too formal for me. And, too revealing. But, the fun is in the search and Lord knows we're not in any rush.
I've ruled out the corset look, the strapless style, the ball gown, and the mermaid style. Phfewwww! That narrows down the field. Part of my head is still trying to wrap itself around a wedding dress at all. Of course, I always knew I would remarry. Just need to figure out the re-wedding part of it.
The choices I made the first time around were in some ways not the best. I had no idea what I really liked then, so I don't care to make that mistake again. At the very least I will be an informed buyer, and more educated bride, and I hope to God a much better partner! Plus, I'm going to feel pretty if it's the last damn thing I do. I think cussing when speaking of your future wedding bodes well don't you?
So the search continues. Perhaps whispering to the powers that be might help.....wanted ........beautiful champagne dress for second wedding....soft and appealing, full of hope and promise......magical.....feminine.....not blatantly sexy.....
Now I just watch and wait.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Bridesmaid Dresses
For the first time in 30 years I find myself a Matron of Honor-to-be, as well as a Bride-to-be. Let me tell you, the dresses haven't matured over the years as much as I have. The dresses these days look like the lingerie of, dang I hate to say it but I will, the old days. Lordy, I wish I still had the body I had 30 years ago. Except, then I'd have to give up my kids, breastfeeding, stretch marks, the softing of age, etc, etc, etc. Having that young body, without todays knowlege and self-acceptance, would give me just a hot body, and not a warm, loving heart to go with it. Guess I'll keep this 'ol body.
I did find a bridesmaids dress, on Ebay -- gotta love those bargains. It needs a little altering, but then most of us do. Not sure I want to take my bat wings out in public, but maybe by shortening the dress from full length to tea length we can fashion a wrap or shrug of some sort. Of course next comes the whole shoe dilemma. I shall have to forsake the comfort of croc's or Dansko's for fancy footwear.
I hope I stumble upon a bargain wedding dress as easily as I did a bridesmaid dress. I hope I don't stumble walking down the aisle. I hope I find comfort in dressing beautifully for both events. It's all about finding our way, and celebrating those moments in fancy dresses and heels.
I did find a bridesmaids dress, on Ebay -- gotta love those bargains. It needs a little altering, but then most of us do. Not sure I want to take my bat wings out in public, but maybe by shortening the dress from full length to tea length we can fashion a wrap or shrug of some sort. Of course next comes the whole shoe dilemma. I shall have to forsake the comfort of croc's or Dansko's for fancy footwear.
I hope I stumble upon a bargain wedding dress as easily as I did a bridesmaid dress. I hope I don't stumble walking down the aisle. I hope I find comfort in dressing beautifully for both events. It's all about finding our way, and celebrating those moments in fancy dresses and heels.
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