Okay, I know just saying those words can evoke lame thoughts and raunchy jokes. But, truly, I'd like to talk about the family jewels.
You see, a tradition in my family is for all the brides to wear the same diamond lavalier on their wedding day. If memory serves me right I was the twelfth bride to wear it. My Mom wore it, cousins wore it, sister-in-laws wore it too. I'm guessing some have worn it more than once, and I'd like to be one of them.
Now that I've started this blog I can't tell you for sure who bought the necklace, how the tradition started, and who wore it first. Guess I should have done my homework. I shall do that and get back to you with the details.
Too bad more families don't have traditions like this. We need those ties to bind us. We need things/events/feelings that honor the women who came before us and those who come after us. And it doesn't hurt to honor where we are as women in the moment too.
When the day comes, I hope to be wearing those family jewels. When that happens, many many women will join me in the spirit of marriage. I rather like this image.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
Stages
It's funny to finally be engaged and not be planning a wedding. Oh we will, when the economy shines on us again and we're both employed.
It's funny to be a bride at my age. It's funny to be in a wedding next month as a maid-of-honor. Ever wonder why we get those second chances like this again? To go through stages in our life that are sorta deja vu, except we're much smarter this time around?
The irony (at least one of them) is that all my life I've loved looking at bride magazines. Whether I was married or single it was a a joy to peruse pages showing bridal wear, engagement rings, bouquets, and reception decorations. I'd play this little game. I'd look at each page and if it had multiple items, say rings, I'd challenge myself to select the one I liked best. Give me a big jewelry catalog and I could browse all afternoon. Give me a bridal magazine and I'd be a happy camper. I'm still that way.
And, amazingly, now that I can look at all those magazines I have no idea what I want for a dress. Besides that hopefully I'll get a smoking good deal on it.
Funny the stages we go through. I suspect this time of waiting is offering some untold grace. Some opportunity to grow and learn, not to mention shop and plan. In the meantime, I'll look and dream. In the meantime I'll enjoy the meantime. It's not a bad place to be.
It's funny to be a bride at my age. It's funny to be in a wedding next month as a maid-of-honor. Ever wonder why we get those second chances like this again? To go through stages in our life that are sorta deja vu, except we're much smarter this time around?
The irony (at least one of them) is that all my life I've loved looking at bride magazines. Whether I was married or single it was a a joy to peruse pages showing bridal wear, engagement rings, bouquets, and reception decorations. I'd play this little game. I'd look at each page and if it had multiple items, say rings, I'd challenge myself to select the one I liked best. Give me a big jewelry catalog and I could browse all afternoon. Give me a bridal magazine and I'd be a happy camper. I'm still that way.
And, amazingly, now that I can look at all those magazines I have no idea what I want for a dress. Besides that hopefully I'll get a smoking good deal on it.
Funny the stages we go through. I suspect this time of waiting is offering some untold grace. Some opportunity to grow and learn, not to mention shop and plan. In the meantime, I'll look and dream. In the meantime I'll enjoy the meantime. It's not a bad place to be.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Details, Details
I know there are a bajillion details involved in creating a wedding ceremony. Ahhhh, so many details. Almost as many as in building a working relationship with your intended, if I had to hazard a guess.
As much as I hate to say it, women sometimes get going in steam-roller mode when planning a wedding. I see it first hand working in the business. This is not a complaint, more of an observation. I love what I do, and I love the beautiful product I get to work with. The whole wedding process can become an obsession, and I worry what life will be like after the ceremony is over for some of these brides. It is probably a big let down, when it should be a great, daily, celebration.
Looking at the wedding process after 18 yrs of marriage and 10 years post divorce, I do have a different perspective. It's not so much the details of the ceremony as it is the details of enjoying daily life with one another. It's not the shade of pink the flowers are, or the color of the dresses, it's not the lettering the napkins are printed with. It doesn't matter if every little thing matches.
We/they prepare for the big day, and sometimes forget about the life after that big day. Granted we need some fairy tale moments in life. We long for magical moments, even romantic moments. Sometimes we get challenging moments, grief filled moments, bizzare moments, and most definitely laughable moments. All of this is part of life.
Weddings are not exactly reality based are they? But they bring us together and honor a special union. They are the first day of the rest of our lives, worthy of celebration on that day, and every day thereafter.
As much as I hate to say it, women sometimes get going in steam-roller mode when planning a wedding. I see it first hand working in the business. This is not a complaint, more of an observation. I love what I do, and I love the beautiful product I get to work with. The whole wedding process can become an obsession, and I worry what life will be like after the ceremony is over for some of these brides. It is probably a big let down, when it should be a great, daily, celebration.
Looking at the wedding process after 18 yrs of marriage and 10 years post divorce, I do have a different perspective. It's not so much the details of the ceremony as it is the details of enjoying daily life with one another. It's not the shade of pink the flowers are, or the color of the dresses, it's not the lettering the napkins are printed with. It doesn't matter if every little thing matches.
We/they prepare for the big day, and sometimes forget about the life after that big day. Granted we need some fairy tale moments in life. We long for magical moments, even romantic moments. Sometimes we get challenging moments, grief filled moments, bizzare moments, and most definitely laughable moments. All of this is part of life.
Weddings are not exactly reality based are they? But they bring us together and honor a special union. They are the first day of the rest of our lives, worthy of celebration on that day, and every day thereafter.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Setting The Date
I remember the first time around finding a date that held special meaning to us. We went with our "date-a-versary". The day of the month we had our first date.
This time there are other things factoring in. First of all, shortly after we got engaged my honey was downsized out of a job. That put a the skids on making firm plans for a wedding. The marriage is still in the works, but the wedding is waiting for more stable financial footing. That makes me a wee bit envious of those with someone who has a hefty checkbook and no other financial worries. But, as I always say - all in due time.
Not that we have a date in mind. Rather we have dates that won't work in mind. Prior wedding anniversaries are a total no-go. Birthdays of ex's won't fly either. I feel pretty secure in knowing when we won't get married.
We know where - probably up at Lake Tahoe. Ohhh, a destination wedding. Lovely. Simple, personal, tasteful. Wondering if I can find a minister who can bring his dog (preferably a hunting breed) to the ceremony so I would feel right at home. Select family, a few friends, the big guy upstairs, and mother nature. That is the perfect guest list. Oh, and did I mention a dog would be good too?
So here we are, date to be determined. All in due time, and I can live with that.
This time there are other things factoring in. First of all, shortly after we got engaged my honey was downsized out of a job. That put a the skids on making firm plans for a wedding. The marriage is still in the works, but the wedding is waiting for more stable financial footing. That makes me a wee bit envious of those with someone who has a hefty checkbook and no other financial worries. But, as I always say - all in due time.
Not that we have a date in mind. Rather we have dates that won't work in mind. Prior wedding anniversaries are a total no-go. Birthdays of ex's won't fly either. I feel pretty secure in knowing when we won't get married.
We know where - probably up at Lake Tahoe. Ohhh, a destination wedding. Lovely. Simple, personal, tasteful. Wondering if I can find a minister who can bring his dog (preferably a hunting breed) to the ceremony so I would feel right at home. Select family, a few friends, the big guy upstairs, and mother nature. That is the perfect guest list. Oh, and did I mention a dog would be good too?
So here we are, date to be determined. All in due time, and I can live with that.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Shoe's - part two
The search has been on for shoes for a girlfriends wedding. With the hope I could find silver shoes and use them for my own wedding somewhere down the road.
May I just say, WOW, there are some gorgeous silver shoes out there. And, holy crap, who on earth can walk in those heels?? If I wanted to add 4" to my height and an emergency room visit to my schedule I could have found shoes. Beautiful shoes, expensive shoes, blingy shoes and last but not least treacherous shoes!
Guess you could say I have something borrowed and something blue. I bought a pair of blue sandals that would work, and then a coworker offered me a pair of blue shoes to try as well. The pair I bought - sexy, with a low enough heel I could manage if I restrict significant alcohol consumption. The coworkers shoes - way cuter, with a "training heel" on them, and more comfy too.
You may be wondering about the heels. A sales person (God love 'em) suggested I was looking for kitten heels. Okay, if you say so. Evidently, there is no viable market for kitten heels. But, the market for 3-4" ankle breaking heels is thriving. I wonder if orthopedic surgeons also dabble in foot wear design. What I called training heels are actually about the height of a kitten heel but with a wider base. More base, more stability, perhaps I can have a second glass of wine and not disgrace myself.
Suffice it to say I'll go for comfort and and extra cocktail. The search is not over for my own wedding shoes, but I'm good to go for now, and relatively safe in the process.
May I just say, WOW, there are some gorgeous silver shoes out there. And, holy crap, who on earth can walk in those heels?? If I wanted to add 4" to my height and an emergency room visit to my schedule I could have found shoes. Beautiful shoes, expensive shoes, blingy shoes and last but not least treacherous shoes!
Guess you could say I have something borrowed and something blue. I bought a pair of blue sandals that would work, and then a coworker offered me a pair of blue shoes to try as well. The pair I bought - sexy, with a low enough heel I could manage if I restrict significant alcohol consumption. The coworkers shoes - way cuter, with a "training heel" on them, and more comfy too.
You may be wondering about the heels. A sales person (God love 'em) suggested I was looking for kitten heels. Okay, if you say so. Evidently, there is no viable market for kitten heels. But, the market for 3-4" ankle breaking heels is thriving. I wonder if orthopedic surgeons also dabble in foot wear design. What I called training heels are actually about the height of a kitten heel but with a wider base. More base, more stability, perhaps I can have a second glass of wine and not disgrace myself.
Suffice it to say I'll go for comfort and and extra cocktail. The search is not over for my own wedding shoes, but I'm good to go for now, and relatively safe in the process.
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