All That And More

I don't know how it happens, but another year has slipped, skipped, skidded, screamed, scrambled and slid by. How do you sum up your year? How do you weigh the joys against the sorrows? How do you find the grace and navigate the grief. 

I keep thinking one of these years will be without the challenges of transition. Maybe I'm delusional. I say it only adds to my charm. Transition is hard. Life is hard. And yet, life can be so beautiful it takes your breath away. I sometimes think, wow, life didn't take me where I wanted. But life took me where I needed to be. 

This year I resigned one position because it didn't fit, wasn't going to fit, was an awful fit and I chose to go a new direction. I am not a quitter. In the past I would have just worked harder to make it fit. Not this year. I've learned you can try things on and sometimes they just don't fit. Kudos for trying, but the brilliance is in saying no thanks, I'll go another direction. We all have the option to go a new direction.

That's not to say I don't wish for other things in my life. Even blanketed in gratitude we can long for other things. The key, I think is how much time we lose to longing, to anger, to dissatisfaction, and how much time we invest in gratitude. One harvests so much growth and grace. The other breeds discontent. 

I'm not saying there weren't hard times. Times I questioned the path unfolding before me. Times my eyes leaked with sorrow. Times I doubted. Times I wrestled with what was mine, and what was someone else's burden to carry. There were also times I was blessed with the company of friends who helped me pull shrubs from the yard, who invited me to tea, who met me in store parking lots to trade groceries items one needed and the other purchased. Times with my kids. Times with my country family. Times talking dogs, times renewing old relationships and building new ones. We could all say it was the best of times and the worst of times. Because life is just like that.

For those who pushed me, knowingly or unknowingly, in new directions. Thank you. For those who held my head above water, knowingly or unknowingly, thank you. For those who laughed with me, thank you, thank you, thank you. For those who take time to check in on me, I can't thank you enough. For the dogs I've loved and lost this year, I give thanks for how they loved me, which is more than I could ever love them. For faith that grows in leaps and bounds, as well as in increments difficult to measure. Amen and thank you. For health of body and mind. Thank you. For Friday night tequila shots and weekends, for days off and days at work. For old friends and new. Thank you.

It's been a year. For all of us. I give thanks for that, and I wish you that. A year that meets your needs and exceeds your expectations. A year that pushes you new directions, and pulls you close to the love available to you. A year that sustains and delights you. A year that gives you much to ponder as it draws to a close. A year that wraps you in blessings. A year that strengthens you and softens you. All that and more....yes, all that and more. 

 

You Need Only Just Ask

I was thinking of days gone by when you were cooking or baking and realized you didn't quite have enough eggs, or baking soda, or brown sugar. You didn't just jump in the car and run to the grocery store. You didn't log on to Aisles On-Line. You just didn't. You called someone close and you asked for what you needed. Then you popped over to get it because they were happy to help. Because they had extra and a willingness to share.

Where did we lose that "I have extra and I'm willing to share?" I'm not saying we've lost it entirely. I'm saying it's diminished, or evolved into something else. I'm also suggesting we struggle with the ability to ask for help. 

We all need to ask for help. We all need to be the one giving it. I remember years ago, I was home with a broken ankle, my Mother-in-law came and cleaned house for me. I was immobilized and mortified. I felt like she would see (and judge) all my flaws and deficiencies, at least in the housekeeping department. None of us like others to see our flaws and deficiencies yet all of us have them. I would never have asked for that help, but she had the good sense of offer and follow through on it. Years later she likely didn't even remember she did that. I remember that instead of embracing the blessing, it felt uncomfortable for me. I missed a lesson that day, but over time those seeds of generosity grew and blossomed. I needed help but was afraid to ask for it.  That was a fairly simple need, no wonder it's hard to ask for help with a bigger need. 

We are born with gifts to give, hands to reach out, hearts to hold and give love. We need connection. We need to both give and receive. We know the pain of isolation. We try to hide our parts that aren't strong, attractive, healthy. We give up rather than show up in our moments of weakness. We push away when we really need to embrace.

Why this message on Christmas? This season of giving and receiving. When we bend over backwards to make everything festive, bright and beautiful. A season where we sometimes feel compelled to connect only with things wrapped in pretty paper topped with bows. What if we connected on a different level. One more basic. One in awe of a baby in a manger. One humbled by the light of a star. One open enough to ask for help with a project, problem or need. Let our connections be the gift. I'm pretty sure when the Angel said be not afraid, I bring you good tidings of great joy, they meant come as you are flaws and all, build connections, and yes, I've got as many eggs as you need. You need only just ask.

Teams, Teams and More Teams

What do you take with you when you go? I mean more than hand bags, wallets, keys and coffee cups. I've been noticing, remembering, pondering all the places I have been and what I've taken with me when I left. Some of it is knowledge, memories, joys, sorrows. Some is pain, longing, regret. 

But there is also something much larger I take with. It is the people I've been in relationship with along the way. It's a wonderful tribe of people who have walked different parts of life with me. I'm not talking thousands of people, I'm talking those cherished ones who enter your life, make a difference, build a strong bond, and change you in the process. You may only reach out to them at Christmas time, or you may connect with them regularly. Either way the ties that bind you hold fast and true. 

With these people I could create a dream team of crazy dog people. A dream team to run the world's most fun (read - irreverent, yet highly productive) flower shop. A dream team of friends who hold your head above water. A dream team who lift you in prayer. A dream team of people who walk with you in grief, and in celebration. A dream team of kids, and their amazing friends. A country living, life is good team. A gardening team, cooking team, comedy team, cocktail connoisseur team and porch sittin team. Let us not forget the car pool team of long ago. Saints on wheels I tell you. So many teams, so little time.

Then there are the hard life lesson teams. The let's never go there again team. The what the hell was I thinking team. The, oh shit, that didn't go as planned team. The I'm learning healthy boundaries team. The well.....single looks pretty good team. Life is a mixed bag of education, in the classroom, and in daily life. In good times and in bad.

There is only one way to take them with you. You tuck them into your heart and walk into new adventures. Tuck them safely in, savor them, give thanks for them, and pray your paths cross again. Because they are part of what makes you, you. God bless them for that.