Giving

There is Thanks and there is Giving, but there can't be one without the other. So on this Thanksgiving I have some thoughts to share. Hopefully it will be gravy for your potatoes, or whip cream for your pie. At the very least may you find something savory in it.

In all honesty when my kids suggested they cook dinner this year I had a melt down. I love that they offered, even more, I love that they understood my deep need for a sense of ritual. Basically a need to cook a bird in my own home. A need for normalcy, for tradition. It's been a year of loses, hardships for all of us and grief. After all that you'd think it wouldn't matter who cooked the bird.  But it does.

We need to give of ourselves more than we need to get for our self. It's the giving in Thanksgiving.  I'm learning that the hardships in life soften us in ways one never expects. I'd liked to have skipped that lesson, but then I wouldn't have had to grow.

This is what I wish today and always. May your path be smooth. May your heart be light, may your dinner include dessert. May you understand the need to give, and the grace of receiving. May you feel the love, in spite of the tears. May you take time to rest and to heal. Know you are not alone, and cook when you need to. It helps. 

What I Know

What I know about grief, or life, or love, or even faith....is that it knows no timetable.  It's complicated. Some days it just hits you. It brings new meaning to you. It brings tears. Sometimes it brings relief.

I think about life in segments, before marriage, before kids, before divorce, after remarriage, after Gordon. I think, therefore I am. I say this because it's true, but also to prove I was listening one day (not everyday) in college philosophy.  Let's take that further. I laugh, therefore I am. I learn, therefore I am. I cry, therefore I am. I believe, therefore I am. The important part is I am. 

I am. While I am relearning who I am, I believe I will be more than what I was before. I'll still be a crazy dog lady, I'll still be a hugger, and have the burning desire to feed anyone who enters my home. I'll still have one eye on Pinterest and the other on Facebook, and the two eyes behind my head on my kids. Well, maybe. They are adults now and don't need me that way. I'll feel deeper, and perhaps weep easier. If that's possible. My faith will be more sound.

I know I am responsible for my choices, my attitude, my faith. If I'm lacking something I have the inner strength to find it. If I lack strength, I have the power of prayer.

What I know is there are gifts to be found in every life situation. Yes, even in sorrow. Open those gifts, embrace them, gather your faith and grow.