What Matters

I polled some of my facebook friends with the following question....If you were getting married again, what three things would be most important for the celebration. I did say that it was a given that the groom is a good guy. So listing a good guy would not count.

After many responses I queried again because no one mention a lovely dress as a requirement. Only one replied and called me a silly goose. She insists a beautiful dress is absolutely a given. Phfewww....

I did ponder that no men answered my initial question. But then, most of my FB friends are women. And what do women love to talk about? Weddings, well, duh.

We do love to talk about, dream about, read about, fantasized about, plan, wonder and experience weddings. My informal survey confirmed having your kids there (if you are a parent) was mandatory, keeping it simple, make it meaningful for the bride and groom, and incorporating personal tastes were important. All that said, I still admit to feeling funny about planning another wedding.

I do not feel funny about the prospect of being married again. Except for the slight worry that I may not live up to expectation. That reality that some days will really bite, that forgiveness is sometimes much like childbirth (exhausting, painful, requires major expulsion of objects), and lastly that I didn't learn near enough the first time around.


I know I'm much smarter, I just hope in the ways that count. I will say, the older I get, the more amazed I am at really young couples marching down the aisle with no fear, little life experience and rusty common sense. True, true, not all of them are like that. More than enough, but not quite all of them.

Ever notice how no one ever says - hey, how do you keep your marriage alive? Or, wow, what's your secret? Yes, when you hit those really significant anniversaries you get asked for the keys to a long (happy) relationship. But, holy moley, many of need to know this stuff now!

Perhaps life is just like that. We have just enough knowledge to get us to the next life lesson. Lessons are good - they teach us what really matters.