This Is For

This is for the parents who sent their child to school this week who never came home. This is for the families who sent their teacher to school this week who never came home. 

And for people whose loved ones chose to end their life, or lost their battle with an illness, were in an accident, murdered, assaulted or vanished without a trace. For the estranged.

This is for those longing to get pregnant as well as those who lost a child during their pregnancy. 

This is for those who feel unseen. Who give their all with no affirmation or acknowledgement. Or feel they have nothing of value to give.

This is for our military who serve far from home, sometimes in foreign lands. Who long for home and family.

This is for those with empty hearts, and pantries. For whom hope is a long-lost dream. 

For the ones who will always bear the weight of loss and yet carry on because moving forward is a choice made daily. 

It is for those whose days are not merry or bright as they move through this holiday season. Those going through the motions as people often do.

This is for you. You are not alone. I see you. Plagued by burdens and sorrow. I know you carry on, sustained by grit, faith and determination. May you find the strength to stay in the moment. To do the next right thing. Whatever that looks like for you.

In this most wonderful time of the year, it's okay question if you'll ever feel that sense of wonder again. It's okay if the days are hard. It's okay to wish for simpler times. It's okay to have human moments. It's okay to be just as you are.  

flawed, & (still) worthy.

1985

I've been on a mission. I'm working on a project, and I've been looking for a penny that was minted in the year each my kids were born. Shhhh, don't tell them. Can I just say it's been a challenge. 

First of all, the numbers on pennies are so dang tiny, or my eyes aren't what they used to be. Not sure which, maybe both. Then you think, maybe this is a silly idea. What's a penny anyway? Why is that date so meaningful? Does it only mean something to me? Maybe it's a mom thing. Will they shake their head at the mere idea? 

Then I think of Gibb's Rule #39. There is no such thing as a coincidence. I think God was really on to something when he inspired Gibbs to write this rule. God is good that way. No such thing as a coincidence. Is that not faith filled or what? Like a plot twist with a happy ending. Amen sisters and brothers.

So, I was a little concerned because I couldn't find one. But also, not horribly concerned because I had 20 more days to find it. I do well under pressure. A lot can happen in 20 days. 

Searching takes time, as we all know. That needle in a haystack is a challenge. Finding your hope and/or faith is right there too. Trusting is part of the process as is just being open to the outcome. Lord knows, over the years, I have wrestled with the process. Whatever process it was, I tried to take it to the mat. Anyone with me on this? I like to think I'm getting better at trusting.

So, I've been hunting for that penny. In all the obvious places. In my wallet, every time I got change. In my stash of coins in the drawer. In the extra change bowl at work. Plus, I've told a few people about this hunt of mine. They were willing to look too. I think because I had them curious, or because they believe in me. Good people help and I am grateful.

So, picture this. I'm working away and reach into a little votive cup of paper clips on my desk. As I sift out a paper clip, I see that lo and behold the cup holds one penny. Odd place for a penny. Just one penny. You guessed it, minted in 1985. Also of note, today is the birthday of my child born in 1985. Coincidence? Oh, I don't think so.