Holding It In...Letting It Out.

No matter the circumstances you can only hold it in so long before you have to let it out.  So you might be thinking belches? sneezes? other not so savory bodily functions? Maybe a giggle burst forth at an inopportune time. Maybe you held your breath as long as you were humanly able.  What are you holding in that needs to be let out?  

I can't speak for men, well, sometimes I have been known to try.  Generally speaking I can't speak for men, but I can for women.  Women are sometimes masters at holding it in way longer than we really ought to.  It can be a heavy burden to bear.  

Laughter is a fabulous thing to let go of regularly.  It's one of my favorite things to do.  Nothing better than an infectious laugh.  But the flip side is tears. Sometimes you just need a good cry, and sometimes it's hard to get to that place.  Woman will get that sentence without explanation.  No offense to the men.  

Then there are those times when a situation touches your heart and the tears just come. You didn't plan it, didn't see it coming and whammo the flood gates open. Even in your dismay you realize it is a moment of grace.   If you are truly blessed there is someone to help you mop up, to prop you up and share the burden so you can go on.  And you do go on... a little lighter for letting it out.  

Dicing The Bread

I can never think of Thanksgiving without memories of making the stuffing, cleaning the silver, peeling potatoes and using Great Grandma Weber's china.  It's part of the process..

Take the bread for the stuffing.  I dice it myself and let it dry. Yes I know you can buy it already dried.  Sure it's easier. I could by it dried and already spiced. But it sure wouldn't be the same. Sometimes we have to do things the same for the experience to be the same. Other times we make adjustments in life, and in cooking, to get the same, or better results.

Different seasons in life require changing up the recipe as we know it.  In some parts of our life we have less than ever before.  More struggles, way less comfort zone.  Yet, the losses intensify the graces we still enjoy.  Like the bread we have to be dried out a little to be reinvented into something more. Dang that drying out process is not a comfortable place to be!

Truth be told the phrase "it is what it is" used to irritate the heck out of me. Now, I have come to accept it. No pain, no gain is another one.  Raising my hand, ready for the gain part! But aren't we all.

So today, as I dice the bread for a feast later this weekend, I know this.  A little drying out is not a bad thing.  When I peel potatoes and clean silver I'll remember we how blessed we are in life.  In fact, we have more blessings than we have numbers to count. If that isn't reason to get out the good china, I don't know what is.

 

Let There Be Gravy

It's that time of year.  Thanksgiving is just a few days away and the holidays will fall in right behind.

Let me just say life is not all gravy.  And I do love gravy.  If I could have gravy on my gravy, with a side of gravy, I'd be a happy camper.  When the big things in life weigh heavy, it's important to relish the small things. Sometimes you have to look hard for the blessings, sometimes they are impossible to ignore.

I always give thanks for the dogs that grace our life and come to us for foster care.  But right now I'm irritated because Ms. Layla keeps trying to hog the recliner as I write.  My laptop is a bit dodgy and her bumping it causes my screen to go all wonky.  She just wants to be close, I just want to write and my gratitude went right out the door.  Time for a gratitude check.

As they say owning it is the first step.  So here I am.  I'll start with taking a deep breath.  Breathe in, breathe out and let go.  If only I could forgive and forget as quickly as the dogs do.  They are masters of living in the moment.

So this moment I pray to be more like the dogs.  I will try not to think too hard, to be thrilled when blessings, big and small come my way.  This day I will breathe through my irritations.  This week I'll try to be gentle with myself and others.  I'll give thanks because I know others pray for lives as rich as mine. And....I'll enjoy the gravy.  Gravy that comes in the shape of family and friends, our dogs, nature, hearth, and home.

10/21/83

Thirty one years ago tomorrow I had a baby boy. It was an amazing day, followed by 11,322 (and counting) more. To say I was naive as a new Mother is an understatement.  Lordy, I was downright clueless.  But love will carry you through and miracles will bless the journey.

This guy has a heart of gold. Sure,  I may be biased. But in this case I'm also right. He gives the best hugs...and I'm pretty sure I taught him that.  He loves to hunt.  Now, he never met my Dad, but certainly his love of hunting crossed generations from his Grandpa.   

A few things about him I'm certain he'd like me to share.  He was always the first one awake in the morning.  So much so we claimed he had early ears.  Our ears were never thrilled about that. For a time he slept in his boots because he thought they were so cool. He lives to hunt and camp. He loves the Kansas City Chiefs, he would do anything for you and loves his Momma's cooking.  Smart boy, huh?

I had no idea on the first day, in those first moments, how deeply I would love him.  How do you compound those feelings over 31 years?  Anyone who knows me knows I am mathematically challenged.  Thankfully, my love is not affected by this disability. 

If my bank account said I was a wealthy woman I would buy all sorts of gifts to honor his birthday.  If we lived in the same city I'd bake and cook his favorite meal.  As it is my checkbook will never hold the depth of my love and I won't have the pleasure of hugging and feeding him on his 31st.  

But, and there is always a but, I will love him and celebrate him.  Today, more than yesterday. Tomorrow, more than today. When I count my blessings he will be on the top of the list.

Happy Birthday Craig Joseph. And many, many more.  

Love, 

Mom

Pieces, Patches and Pointers

When I was a city girl I quilted.  I belonged to a group, had a huge stash of fabric.  We encouraged each other, some might say enabled one another. Funny how life, and hobbies change.   

Years ago, when I turned 40. I asked for fabric to make a quilt in honor of that milestone birthday.  So maybe it wasn't all that many years ago, but it feels like another lifetime.  It was another lifetime.  I was recently divorced and discovering new roads to travel.

Besides sewing I began my journey with dogs.  I got one, adopted another, and another, and began fostering.  The rest as they say is history.  Of all the dogs that have passed through here only one has chewed holes in my quilts.  Rolling eyes because this behavior is his only bad habit.  Of course he chewed a hole in my birthday quilt.

It shouldn't have been such a chore to patch a blanket made of, you guessed it, pieces of fabric.  What's a couple more pieces anyway? It's rather symbolic. Woman pieces quilt, dog nibbles, woman patches quilt.  We evolve and when necessary we re-evolve.  We piece, we patch and we move on.

I have to tell you it was harder to patch that quilt than to make it.  I love that I did, and I love the dog who ate it.  I have another special quilt that he ate too, so I'm doing the mental preparation to fix it.  

Someday those quilts will hold more value in my heart because of the patches and the dog who sampled them.  He was sneaky about it, never once caught him in the act. He stole a piece of my heart in much the same way.

So in my city girl country life it seems right to get out needle & thread and do some sewing.  I'm adding layers of memories to a life rich with dog fur, fabric and love. 

Today's Word Is.....

This must be the adult version.  I distinctly remember my kids being in preschool and each day had a "letter of the day".  It was all about the alphabet then.  Real life is sometimes just like preschool in this regard.

I'd like to introduce this week's words.  Let's start with humility, perseverance, compassion, faith and empathy.   In no specific order.  Now class, look at the people around you and apply this filter....humility, perseverance, compassion, faith and empathy.

Day in and day out we cross path's with family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, and strangers in all shapes and forms. How little we actually know about them, and how likely it is we will ever bother to find out. They may be physically or emotionally ill, losing faith, unemployed, stuck in a bad relationship. They may be humbled by the circumstances of life.  They may be walking by faith.  Their faith may be failing.  They may laugh even when they'd rather be crying. It's easy to make a joke or two and leave it at that.  Been there, done that, laughed at the joke.  Been there, was the recipient of that, was hurt by the joke.

Why now, why today, why this blog?  Because whether you live in the big city, or a little town life is what we make it.  Let's make it a gentler place to reside. By applying the words of the day, by slowing down, by reaching out.

Harvesting, Planting, and The Roads of Life

It is that time of year. We are simultaneously harvesting and planting "seeds", literally and figuratively, for next season.  Life is like that.  

There is irony, agony and ecstasy.  So much of life is lived on the straight and narrow.  Life in the country is like that.  At least here, farmland is all rows, sections, and grids.  Go down a mile, take a left, repeat, repeat and you find yourself where you began.  Okay, life is not like that.  

I love the irony of be surrounded by straight rows and roads. Yet, we live on a curvy road.

Our life, love and faith journey is much like this sign. That is where the beauty of it all comes in.  Bumps, curves, growth, harvest, planting.

I learned to do canning this year.  Honestly, I've wanted to learn all my life. Maybe I needed to live in the country to embrace this process.  Wild plums, chokecherry's, tomato's, green beans, and cucumbers have all danced over my kitchen counter lately.  I have a neat and tidy (a rarity for me) shelf of canned goods in rows in the basement. I am fairly certain these same shelves held canned goods from other lives over the years.  It comforts me to put my jars there for use over the winter.  

Even as our garden is almost finished for the year we are actively planning for next year.  More raised beds, more organization (one can hope) more produce for canning.  Daffodil bulbs and garlic bulbs are being planted.  Faith, to, is being planted with each scoop of the shovel.

You know, it occurred to me recently how we go through our days oblivious. Unaware of the struggles our friends/family may be experiencing.  Blind to the beauty of the land we take for granted.  Sometimes I stop along the roads and pick up the beer cans that someone carelessly littered on our country roads. Sometimes in my haste I don't even see them. Perhaps that is our challenge. To dig deep enough to see what is before us. To plant some seeds and harvest some gratitude.