Mowing

I spend a lot of time mowing these days. I have some thoughts about that. Up until last summer I'd never used the riding mower. Oh, I was welcome to use the push mower any time, lol. But not the John Deere. I admit I was leery of it at first. I can honestly say JD and I are in a committed relationship.

Here is what I've learned, I rather like mowing. For 2+ hours a week I have life under control. My edges are clean from trimming. The yard is neat and lovely. It looks picture perfect. I accomplished that neat and tidy, that picture perfect. I take comfort in that small period where I've got it all.

Most the time, I/we/you/me haven't got squat under control. I don't know about you, but I guess, you also find life both blessed and chaotic at the same time. Both, full to the top and empty beyond belief. Sometimes simultaneously. It's not what I expected, not what I ever dreamed, and yet full of grace. 

I like the neat and tidy, the under control part. Those of us growing and healing know it's messy, and gut wrenching. We're not sure how we'll come out on the other side. We know the healing will be a life long process. We worry the loneliness will never end. We push hard just to keep up our momentum. And, we long for the comfort of rest. We dream of path's less rocky and exhausting. 

So if my two+ hours of mowing gives me a semblance of normalcy, I'll call it a win. At least temporarily I need the bliss of the idyllic. I wish you the same, respite in the pain of progress, and peace during times of growth. If mowing does that for you, you're in good company.