I had a choice to make. I could see it logically. Logically, it was plain and simple. Eventually, I realized I had to wrestle through the emotional side of it. Emotions can weigh so heavy and muddy the water. You know it's muddy. It takes time to figure out why. Some muddy can be felt but not seen.
It boiled down to a situation of either holding on or of letting go. I don't know about you, but letting go takes so much energy. Letting go means I need to trust that my needs will be met even when what worked before changes. It means I have to believe I'm not being left alone. It means I need to be open to a new way to do things, even if, especially if, I loved the way they were done before.
Emotionally I had to let go of one more piece of a life I loved. It wasn't the thing in question that mattered. It was the heart string that tied it all together. So when I saw the heart string unraveling I knew what muddied the water. And yes, I cried. For changes I never asked for. For decisions I had no say in. For knowing the logical thing to do even when emotionally it hurt to do so. There are many moments in life that fit that equation.
Letting go is hard no matter how you approach it. Emotions are hard until you feel and release them. Sometimes they are hard even after you do. That's ok. That's life. In a way it's progress. Something is released, so something new can enter. I don't know what the new is or how it will look......I just have to have faith in the process.
No comments:
Post a Comment