What's your garden like? I see some well landscaped, meticulously planted Gardenscapes. They look professional, almost too perfect. Don't get me wrong, they are well appointed, they are color coordinated. They have sprinkler systems. They don't appear to have anyone putzing around checking for bugs, buds, blossoms, weeds. Someone must tend them, but who invests the love and interest? We all need love and interest. We flounder without it.
I've been trying to find the balance between floundering and flourishing for some time now. Owning it is the first step. There are days I nail it. There are days I wonder where am I going, what am I doing? And why? Seriously why? I have a greater appreciation for the days I sailed right through. As well as a deeper understanding of the days that were an uphill battle. I look back trying to put life in perspective. To take responsibility for my stuff. We all have stuff you know.
Now "garden" could be my actual garden, or an analogy that life resembles a garden. There are parts of my "garden" that I never tend. Never speak of. I do it because of shame sometimes. Because I feel like I've failed. Because I'm afraid of judgement. Because I'm afraid of trying again. Perhaps because it's easier, theoretically, to have weeds, than to weed them out. Weeds are a known entity. Weeds are consistent. We like consistent.
Those parts of my life are uncomfortable and take up precious energy. Energy better spent in releasing what didn't or doesn't work and planting anew. It's not easy. In fact, it's very hard. I think though, much like forgiveness, it's necessary. So, I ask what needs weeding, what's blooming, what needs forgiving, what needs nurturing?
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