Maybe Christmas Is Just A Little Bit More...

As years go, it's been a tough one.  A lost job, impossibly tight finances, disappointments, challenges to our faith.  It gives you cause to dig deep for hope and for gratitude.  And then the holidays came fast upon us. 

As Christmas' go, it's been a different one.  It's not coming with buttons and bows, big fancy tree's, extravagant gifts, who-hoozles and fandangles.  And yet, the Grinch did not steal our Christmas. 

We've discovered our paired down Christmas comes with just a little bit more. More understanding, more love, more acceptance.  Sure, we'd love to come bearing physical gifts, big presents, lavish feasts, delightful surprises.  Instead we come simply, genuinely with thankful hearts and a wealth of love. 

I've be remiss not to admit we've been humbled by the "adventure'.  All along I've said some day we'll look back on this and laugh.  One says that when faced with absurdities.  Some day we'll understand why this journey came our way. Or maybe we'll never know...and that's okay too.

The less you have, the more you realize what has value.  Those who share your journey and love you in spite of it, are the greatest gifts of all.  

So my heart is light and the song in my head is from the Grinch...

Welcome, Welcome
Fah who rah-moose
Welcome, Welcome
Dah who dah-moose
Christmas day is in our grasp
So long as we have hands to clasp

Fah who for-aze!
Dah who dor-aze!
Welcome, welcome Christmas
Welcome, welcome Christmas
Day

Christmas day is in our grasp, so long as we have hands to clasp.  Infinite thanks for holding our hands. We love you for it.

1000 Gifts

In the midst of hardship comes great gifts.  In times of joy there are also great gifts.  In the middle of this holiday season we are consumed by the thought of gifts. Some are tangible, some are spiritual, some are hilarious, some are hard to even see as gifts. Some come wrapped in festive paper with a pretty bow and some are in disguise.  Nonetheless, I was challenged by a friend to start a list of 1000 gifts that grace our life.  

So we are doing just this.  It's in our kitchen and anyone who visits is free to add to it. Now, I've kept lists before.  Grocery lists, lists of the dogs we've fostered (I can't keep track anymore!)  There are lists of projects to do, plants I'd like for the garden, dates to remember. Laundry lists, lists of things I did and loved.  Lists of things that I did and never want to repeat. There are naughty lists and nice lists. There are bucket lists. Now that's an amazing list to work on. 

A thousand seems like a lot.  But if I've said it once I've said it a thousand times we are so blessed.  We are thinking of lists in a whole new way.  For the record....we are up to 18 things.  Obviously I haven't been giving the list as much love as I should.  I know there are way more.  So it's on my list to work on the list.  Day by day, gift by gift until we reach a thousand.

  

Holding It In...Letting It Out.

No matter the circumstances you can only hold it in so long before you have to let it out.  So you might be thinking belches? sneezes? other not so savory bodily functions? Maybe a giggle burst forth at an inopportune time. Maybe you held your breath as long as you were humanly able.  What are you holding in that needs to be let out?  

I can't speak for men, well, sometimes I have been known to try.  Generally speaking I can't speak for men, but I can for women.  Women are sometimes masters at holding it in way longer than we really ought to.  It can be a heavy burden to bear.  

Laughter is a fabulous thing to let go of regularly.  It's one of my favorite things to do.  Nothing better than an infectious laugh.  But the flip side is tears. Sometimes you just need a good cry, and sometimes it's hard to get to that place.  Woman will get that sentence without explanation.  No offense to the men.  

Then there are those times when a situation touches your heart and the tears just come. You didn't plan it, didn't see it coming and whammo the flood gates open. Even in your dismay you realize it is a moment of grace.   If you are truly blessed there is someone to help you mop up, to prop you up and share the burden so you can go on.  And you do go on... a little lighter for letting it out.  

Dicing The Bread

I can never think of Thanksgiving without memories of making the stuffing, cleaning the silver, peeling potatoes and using Great Grandma Weber's china.  It's part of the process..

Take the bread for the stuffing.  I dice it myself and let it dry. Yes I know you can buy it already dried.  Sure it's easier. I could by it dried and already spiced. But it sure wouldn't be the same. Sometimes we have to do things the same for the experience to be the same. Other times we make adjustments in life, and in cooking, to get the same, or better results.

Different seasons in life require changing up the recipe as we know it.  In some parts of our life we have less than ever before.  More struggles, way less comfort zone.  Yet, the losses intensify the graces we still enjoy.  Like the bread we have to be dried out a little to be reinvented into something more. Dang that drying out process is not a comfortable place to be!

Truth be told the phrase "it is what it is" used to irritate the heck out of me. Now, I have come to accept it. No pain, no gain is another one.  Raising my hand, ready for the gain part! But aren't we all.

So today, as I dice the bread for a feast later this weekend, I know this.  A little drying out is not a bad thing.  When I peel potatoes and clean silver I'll remember we how blessed we are in life.  In fact, we have more blessings than we have numbers to count. If that isn't reason to get out the good china, I don't know what is.

 

Let There Be Gravy

It's that time of year.  Thanksgiving is just a few days away and the holidays will fall in right behind.

Let me just say life is not all gravy.  And I do love gravy.  If I could have gravy on my gravy, with a side of gravy, I'd be a happy camper.  When the big things in life weigh heavy, it's important to relish the small things. Sometimes you have to look hard for the blessings, sometimes they are impossible to ignore.

I always give thanks for the dogs that grace our life and come to us for foster care.  But right now I'm irritated because Ms. Layla keeps trying to hog the recliner as I write.  My laptop is a bit dodgy and her bumping it causes my screen to go all wonky.  She just wants to be close, I just want to write and my gratitude went right out the door.  Time for a gratitude check.

As they say owning it is the first step.  So here I am.  I'll start with taking a deep breath.  Breathe in, breathe out and let go.  If only I could forgive and forget as quickly as the dogs do.  They are masters of living in the moment.

So this moment I pray to be more like the dogs.  I will try not to think too hard, to be thrilled when blessings, big and small come my way.  This day I will breathe through my irritations.  This week I'll try to be gentle with myself and others.  I'll give thanks because I know others pray for lives as rich as mine. And....I'll enjoy the gravy.  Gravy that comes in the shape of family and friends, our dogs, nature, hearth, and home.

10/21/83

Thirty one years ago tomorrow I had a baby boy. It was an amazing day, followed by 11,322 (and counting) more. To say I was naive as a new Mother is an understatement.  Lordy, I was downright clueless.  But love will carry you through and miracles will bless the journey.

This guy has a heart of gold. Sure,  I may be biased. But in this case I'm also right. He gives the best hugs...and I'm pretty sure I taught him that.  He loves to hunt.  Now, he never met my Dad, but certainly his love of hunting crossed generations from his Grandpa.   

A few things about him I'm certain he'd like me to share.  He was always the first one awake in the morning.  So much so we claimed he had early ears.  Our ears were never thrilled about that. For a time he slept in his boots because he thought they were so cool. He lives to hunt and camp. He loves the Kansas City Chiefs, he would do anything for you and loves his Momma's cooking.  Smart boy, huh?

I had no idea on the first day, in those first moments, how deeply I would love him.  How do you compound those feelings over 31 years?  Anyone who knows me knows I am mathematically challenged.  Thankfully, my love is not affected by this disability. 

If my bank account said I was a wealthy woman I would buy all sorts of gifts to honor his birthday.  If we lived in the same city I'd bake and cook his favorite meal.  As it is my checkbook will never hold the depth of my love and I won't have the pleasure of hugging and feeding him on his 31st.  

But, and there is always a but, I will love him and celebrate him.  Today, more than yesterday. Tomorrow, more than today. When I count my blessings he will be on the top of the list.

Happy Birthday Craig Joseph. And many, many more.  

Love, 

Mom

Pieces, Patches and Pointers

When I was a city girl I quilted.  I belonged to a group, had a huge stash of fabric.  We encouraged each other, some might say enabled one another. Funny how life, and hobbies change.   

Years ago, when I turned 40. I asked for fabric to make a quilt in honor of that milestone birthday.  So maybe it wasn't all that many years ago, but it feels like another lifetime.  It was another lifetime.  I was recently divorced and discovering new roads to travel.

Besides sewing I began my journey with dogs.  I got one, adopted another, and another, and began fostering.  The rest as they say is history.  Of all the dogs that have passed through here only one has chewed holes in my quilts.  Rolling eyes because this behavior is his only bad habit.  Of course he chewed a hole in my birthday quilt.

It shouldn't have been such a chore to patch a blanket made of, you guessed it, pieces of fabric.  What's a couple more pieces anyway? It's rather symbolic. Woman pieces quilt, dog nibbles, woman patches quilt.  We evolve and when necessary we re-evolve.  We piece, we patch and we move on.

I have to tell you it was harder to patch that quilt than to make it.  I love that I did, and I love the dog who ate it.  I have another special quilt that he ate too, so I'm doing the mental preparation to fix it.  

Someday those quilts will hold more value in my heart because of the patches and the dog who sampled them.  He was sneaky about it, never once caught him in the act. He stole a piece of my heart in much the same way.

So in my city girl country life it seems right to get out needle & thread and do some sewing.  I'm adding layers of memories to a life rich with dog fur, fabric and love.