Sometimes our reality is just a hard place to be. August came and went, and as grieving goes it was a hard one. Grief knows no pattern, no schedule, it has a mind of it's own. I had a birthday, a significant one, and I really didn't want to celebrate it. Didn't want to even have it. It may have been hard to celebrate even if life was on an even keel. I don't know. What I do know is life is not on an even keel. The reality that Gordon took his life is hitting hard. Owning it is the first step. Sadly I/we have been taking this first step for months and will be for years.
September is Suicide Prevention Month. There is so much stigma about suicide, so much isolation following a suicide, and so much soul searching for those who lose someone to suicide. I do know looking back will not provide answers, as there will always be more questions than answers. The challenge is to look forward and step boldly, or timidly as the case may be, at best consistently in that direction. Sometimes that step feels crazy scary, sometimes they are wrought with tears. Sometimes they are the routine steps of our day-to-day life. It involves some of what we have always done, and some of what is new on our life journey.
When we are on an even keel, we sometimes forget how grace filled life is. When we aren't, and many times we are not for a multitude of reasons, we still need to be open to the grace of the journey.
This part of the journey is hard, is tearful. There is grace in that, and growth. Wherever you are in life, I wish you the same....grace and growth.
No comments:
Post a Comment