The Time Of Year

So much anticipation in these days before Christmas. So much fullness in our days, so much of everything. Expectation, hope, dreams, desires. So much of just plain wanting, not just of things, but of the way things should be during the holidays.

While it's okay to want all of that, it's also fine to own that sometimes reality doesn't come near to matching our expectations. It may be the "happiest time of the year" but we struggle with grief, illness, loneliness, lost dreams, broken hearts.  I've struggled with getting into the spirit this year.  I love looking at Christmas tree's in other peoples windows, but couldn't bring myself to put up one of my own. Motivation to decorate, meh. Maybe next year.

Ever notice, in passing conversation, how often we ask are you ready for Christmas? Honestly, beyond the obvious yes or no. What would you really like to reply? Consider these options...I'm not ready and never will be. I'm on a hamster wheel of preparation and I can't get off. I haven't done enough. I wish I could do more. My heart is ready, but my house is not. I'm ready for it to be over. I'm ready for the proverbial silent night. 

I am ready to lavish my love even if it's not in tangible form. I am ready to own that the holidays remind me of painful losses, challenges and on going struggles. I'm ready to remember I may feel lonely, or lost, but I am neither lost or alone. Most honestly, I miss the innocence of past Christmas'. But, and there is always a but, I will move through the season as best I can. When there are tears, I'll embrace them. When there is joy I will cherish it. When I'm somewhere in between I'll lean on my faith. 

I wish you the magical season we all dream of, and I'll challenge you to find the gifts in the harder seasons in life. They are there, we just have to dig deeper to find them.