Own That

 I had a friend tell me "so, very few people could do what you have done this year. Weaker souls woulda just given up." She also said, own that. Cuz it is amazing. My immediate response was smarter people wouldn't have tried it. I'm still trying to digest this, to accept this.

Funny how hard it is to acknowledge a life truth, to accept a compliment, a reality. Reality is hard, reality is poignant, reality holds moments of joy, and reality can rip a scab right open. I'd be remiss if I didn't own that so many times this year I have wished I'd made other choices. Wished I had not pulled up roots. Wished I was back in my old life. Except, growth required me to seek a new life. 

I am not the type to move repeatedly. I am a home body. I struggle with change. I stress over not knowing the when, the where, the how. This year has taken any idea of when, where and how and thrown it to the wind. I gave up one home to return to another, only to find out it didn't feel like home there any more. Letting go is hard. Moving triggered so much grief. Owning something and feeling it are sometimes two different things. We need to do both.

I don't believe I've done anything all that amazing. I took a leap of faith. The rest was beyond my control. As always, I'm guided exactly where I need to be, and my needs (even ones I was unaware of) are amply met.

Does that mean it's been easy? Nope. Nothing good comes easy. It involves a huge portion of faith, and unfailing optimism. Okay, I'm fibbing there. Sometimes optimism wains. It does, and then, it recalculates like a GPS program. I don't have all the answers, I muddle through just like everyone else. Some of my muddles have been enormous. Eh, they happen. 

While it can be hard to accept a compliment, it is also okay to do so. We need affirmation, we need encouragement. We need to be able to give it to ourselves, and to others. So listen up. You've done good. Listen up,  I've done good. Take the leaps of faith, and move into the life meant to be yours. Struggle with it, wrestle with it, embrace it. Love it. And...in my friends words, not mine...."I know it's not the path you would have chosen...but it is paved in grace, and beauty in spite of it." Own that.