Ask For Help, Get The Ice Cream

I've realized grief comes in more shades than there are paint chips at Sherwin Williams. Grace does too. I had an emotional day recently, which triggered some grief. Each time through a wave of grief I am moved further down the road to a softer place. That doesn't negate the pain of getting through it.

I had some dental work done the other day. There was pain in the beginning of the procedure, but after that part there was no physical pain involved. I was taken back at how emotionally uncomfortable the process was. How anxiety filled. I knew I could get through it because I told myself in my head (at least a 100 times) I can do this, I can do this, I can do this. It did not occur to me to stop and ask for help "doing this" making the procedure less stressful. That's an important lesson. Ask for help when you need it. I didn't need to suffer through it and yet I did.  

So naturally following the procedure I was a bit emotional. Okay, so saying I'm "a bit emotional" is always a stretch of imagination. Here's your visual, emotionally charged woman, with half her face completely numb. Wanting ice cream to comfort the stress, but knowing she doesn't have enough lip control to manage consuming it. Again, I could have gotten some for later when my lips came back. Again, I went without when I didn't actually need to. Raising hand....slow learner here.

I pull up to a stop light and am sitting behind the vehicle of a company that does damage restoration, including trauma clean up. It takes me right back. This same company did the trauma clean up after my husband took his life. This time seeing the company name tapped into the loss and pain. Now I dealt with this company as they did restoration work in my home. I've seen their vehicles many times since then with no emotional response. But this day I had emotions that needed to be cried through. This day I was in a place I could do that. We can't process all of a loss at once, that's why grieving is a long process. As we are ready, life presents the situations that draw us through grief to the other side. These hurdles have to be crossed. They can however be shared, either during, or afterwards. While we may feel pain, discomfort, anxiety we don't have to suffer alone. We can ask for the help/comfort to get through it and we can have the ice cream afterwards. Be gentle with yourself, ask for help, get the ice cream. Heal.