Belonging

Belonging. Be longing. Longing.

We can read those words so many ways, and feel them very differently. I feel myself longing to belong. To be a part of something larger than myself. To be connected, to feel like a valued/included part of family/community. 

Honestly, I've struggled with feeling connected. Why you might ask? Well, I ask myself the same thing. Part of it is trust, part is life history. Promises made and not kept, past trauma, losses. Some of our greatest lessons come from such situations. Lessons that are hard to learn, slow in evolving, that are quite frankly life changing. 

I thought being geographically close would enhance feeling connected. Thing is, connection is more of an action, than a location. It's an investment of time and interest, concern and communication. It's being seen, heard and understood. It's being vulnerable and compassionate. It's inclusion. It's sharing the big and little things of life. It's saying I'm leaving now or I got there safely. It's how was your day. How much rain did you get? It's how did you sleep or what did you eat? It's what do you need. It's you're not alone. It's how was your weekend? It's how was today for you. It's 'I care" manifested in action.

Some people experienced this from birth, some lack solid role models and have to grow into it. We know growth is hard. If it was easy how would we learn from it? The struggle is wanting to belong, but hesitating to believe we deserve it. It is staying in the dysfunction, because that is the function you know. It's having to push past the discomfort to find the comfort. It's hard damn it.

Do you feel like you belong? Or do you wrestle with that? Is that a big question or what? Or, do you feel like you don't belong and could care less. Maybe in some ways that's healthy, in others not so much. We need each other. We need support. We need to be able to lean on others, and have others lean on us. Life is hard enough without feeling alone. I hope you don't, and if you do, please reach out.