I heard a dialog recently. The question was asked "why would they put up with that"? "Were they stupid"? That whole thought process made me sad. We do the best we can with the information we have at the time. We do the best to honor our commitments, to trust the situation, to believe. We believe in those we love, we trust them, until reality teaches us otherwise. If a person has never had that experience, then God bless them. They have no idea how lucky they are. Others have lived with dysfunction, learning the hard way.
The bottom line is we just don't know what another person is going through. Let me say that again. We just don't know what another person is going through. Sometimes we are that person, holding on by a thread and trying to sort it out. Other times we look on and it's painfully obvious we can't learn life lessons for another person. It's hard all the way around. In reality most of us do attend the school of hard knocks at one time or another. When we hear those questions, comments, those judgements it may take us back to times we felt like failures. Were we failures? Nope. The writing was on the wall, but we weren't able to read it. We made choices that weren't the greatest but were what we needed to do at that particular moment. They were part of our growth and development. Therefore, they were important pieces of who we were and who we are.
They are the very reasons to be gentle with ourselves and each other. We don't know what life is like for others. We just don't know what we don't know. And no, we're not stupid. We are humans having human moments. Growing from them in our own way according to the bigger plan.
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