Alone, Not Alone

Living alone. It's not for sissies. It is where life has led me, and what I'm accepting. Face it, we all sometimes yearn for what others have. Those with curly hair, want straight hair. Short people long to be tall. Curvy people yearn to be thin. Single people envy couples. Couples may envy singles. You get my drift. Life is complicated. We may want what others have, even in the midst of gratitude for what we have.

I'll be the first to admit I never saw myself living alone. Granted I don't live alone, alone. I do have dogs, or rather, they have me. I'm pretty sure being alone has always been a great fear of mine. And yet, here I am. Ironically, I've been alone even when in relationships. So alone is relative. Funny how life works out that way.

There was a time when I searched out new relationships so I wouldn't be alone. I didn't trust that I was exactly where I needed to be. Not that those choices didn't hold exactly the lessons I needed. Boy howdy, did they. And brought blessings for every lesson taught! I have grown since then. So, while I sometimes wrestle with being alone, I also embrace it.

Like everyone, we need to feel connected. To be a part of something bigger. To feel the comfort that comes with interaction, understanding and caring. To be asked how your day was, reminded to drive safe, to have someone say let me help you with that. We want to give of ourselves, and to receive from others. In a safe, mutually beneficial and fulfilling way. We want someone to laugh with, who listens, who responds appropriately (or inappropriately, lol). And we want our safe comfy space. I have a great appreciation of my space. Which includes more than a little dog fur and a liberal scattering of dog toys.

It takes time alone to understand what makes you comfortably you. It takes faith and resilience. Wrestling with being alone is basically wrestling with yourself. Eventually, thankfully, you find peace, yourself and find the comfort of being by yourself. You know what the good news is? We can be alone and be connected at the same time. One does not preclude the other. Carry on, knowing even if you live alone, you are not alone.