Way Ahead Or Way Behind

For the last couple years our goal has been to add more tree's to our little piece of heaven on earth. Tree's - so many plans, so many dreams.  Cherry tree's - tried twice, with no luck.  Curly willow's - yup, courtesy of stems rooted that would have been trash at the flower shop.  We have two, with plans for more.  Apple tree's on the list.  Peach tree - check.  Thanks to my kids.  Last fall we tried to transplant Aspens and an Oak.  Fail.  Nothing ventured nothing gained.

I cringe when the county comes through and digs up perfectly good tree's that are too close to the road.  I hate to see tree's felled for housing developments and farming.  No offense to the developers and the farmers.  I just love tree's.

We should be more like them.  Able to bend with the storms of life.  Able to put down roots and reach for the stars.  Able to blossom, leaf out and then shed the leaves when the season is over.  Many of us struggle with shedding what no longer serves us well.  Would that we could give shade and shelter like a tree does.

So today we planted two tree's.  That makes us either well ahead of this year's game plan, or way behind last year's. I'm calling it a win.  We planted a pine tree in the back yard.  We prayed it would grow strong and sturdy. Giving the birds a place to nest, the squirrels safety from the dogs, and the dogs a place to pee.  Proof that tree's multitask too.  We also planted a Bald Cypress.  It's been on my wish list ever since we moved.  Now, as a rule I suck at tree identification. But I had a Cypress "in the city" and I loved it. Sometimes you need to bring a bit of those other homes along with you.  We named it Marti, by the way.  In honor of my mother-in-law who passed on last year.  Special memories for a special tree.

I haven't given up on cherry trees, aspens, river birches or oaks. Apples, apricots, pears or another Persian walnut. They are just seeds that will take a little longer to produce.  The best part was working together to plant them.  Planting them to bless the land.  And, trusting they will grace us in the days ahead.

Pivotal Moments

At the end of the day it's time to take stock.  To examine. To sort out the details, to search for the humor and yes, the pivotal moments of your day.  To find the meaning.  Some days, it's on a scale as grand as the horizon.  Some days it's a scramble to fill a thimble full.  Still we try.

We're at the part of the year where spring is upon us and winter still pokes at us.  We see the flowers starting to bloom, the tree's start to leaf out and yet the fields are still not ready for planting.  We want the warmth, we want the growth and we have to wait.  Waiting is not easy.

Many of us wait.  For direction, for answers, for growth.  We plant the seeds of faith and pray they blossom.  Would that our patience was as easy to deposit in as the bank.  Mine, not so much. No one will accuse me of excessive patience. It might not be evident, but it is true. I have to remember things are growing and changing even when I can't see them.

These things I know.  The sun rises and sets. If we're smart we pause to embrace the goodness, the beauty.

What are your moments? Time with friends, the antics of your pets, your faith walk, your passions, your family. Hold them close. And let go knowing....all is unfolding as it should be.

In Between

Ever feel like the "in between" parts of life last an eternity.  In between jobs, in between seasons, in between paychecks, in between holidays.  Stuck between what was and what is to come.  Stuck and discouraged.  We get that way.

In between can be fertile ground for faith, for hope and for dreams.  But sometimes we forget to dream, to imagine, to visualize, to pray.  Perhaps it is because waiting weighs heavy on our heart.

In dog terms, which pretty much rule my life, in between is the time that starts when the bathroom door shuts and drags in excruciating seconds until I open the door up again.  It is also the eternity, which lasts an eternity plus one day, from when I leave for work and return.  Or ten minutes, whichever comes first.

We've been waiting for spring and it's coming. I see it in the tulips pushing through the ground, the forsythia starting to show color, the cranes migrating.  I also see it in the farmers beginning to work their fields.  I bet they struggle with in between time as much as I do.

Maybe if I till, plant, fertilize and harvest more faith the in between's would be more comfortable. The days fly by even if the things we await come slowly.  It's life as we know it.  It is finding grace in the moments, the time between, and knowing good things are coming.  

Holding Back

Ever notice how much you hold back? How closed off you can be, and the amount of energy it takes to do so?  Ever notice how lonely it is when you don't share? Sure we easily share the good stuff, but sharing our struggles, our challenges, our worries? That's another story  You have to hold your breath to hold it in and that is never a good thing.

So let's talk about "another story".  Maybe your other story is about a relationship issue, a work issue, or a scary health issue.  Perhaps it's as simple as wondering if you will ever fit it.  Maybe you are scared to move forward, to trust it's all good even if we don't know the outcome. Maybe your story is painful.  Could be your story makes you worry about being judged.

So you hold back.  Waving my hand and saying yes, I do that.  I could be doing it as we speak.  Fear is at the root of that and the challenge is to wash those fears in faith.  Funny thing is dogs generally don't hold back.  Healthy adjusted dogs are totally, completely, irrevocably in the moment.  And they aren't holding their breath.  They are game on ready for an adventure, a new experience, to meet a new friend and to trust treats will rain from the sky.

I have to wonder how many treats will rain from the sky if I have more faith in the process.  Suppose I let go rather than holding back. We don't have to be isolated.  Whether your nearest neighbor is a mile away or one door away. Start by breathing...by releasing the breath your are holding, and by going faith forward. I'm gonna lean on my friends and faith more.  I hope you will too.

Graces and Gratitudes

There are times in your life where your plate just overflows.  Sometimes with challenges and sometimes with graces.  Often both.

We live in a hard world.  The trick is to keep a soft heart.  I find the dogs help me do that.  Nature helps me do that and friends help me do that.

Lately I find myself especially blessed by friends.  I sometimes thought when we moved from the city I was leaving all my friends. It felt like it. It took a while to find new friends here in our country world.  I wonder if I was slow in making new friends because I was reluctant to let that old life go.

Here is what I discovered recently. Of course the story starts with a dog. Gunther entered our lives very recently as a foster and we just knew (well one of us did) that he was meant to be a forever dog. In reality it was probably not the best time to add another dog to the ranks, but the heart knows what it knows.  We needed him, he needed us.  When there is a will there is a way.

Shortly after he joined us he developed a mass on his leg.  Much as I wanted to pretend it was just a random lump, I knew it looked like a mast cell tumor.  Been down this road before.  I was relieved he hadn't been adopted to someone who would find him flawed or damaged goods.  To us, tumor or not, he is perfect.  He had surgery to remove the mass, and it came back as suspected.  Looks like we got it early with good margins, so we're doing the happy dance.

The amazing part of the story is about friendship.  Friends rallied to surprise us by chipping in towards his vet bill. They made payments by Paypal, by check and by card. At present, we have a credit balance at the vet clinic. Anyone who knows me and dogs will know what a miracle that is. The balance will remain for Gunther's future medical needs. What they don't know, or maybe they do, is the love that touched my heart by them doing so. People sometimes forget how one act of love can multiply. I won't. Every time I look at Gunther I will see my friends. They go where ever I go. I will see love....and I will be grateful.

The Bigger Picture

Sometimes we get all wrapped up in what "we" want that we lose sight of the bigger picture.  What is the bigger picture you ask?  The bigger picture may be a relationship, a job, a pursuit of happiness. You name it.  All of these things have a set of must haves and also a set of deal breakers.  Sounds like we're on a dating sight, right?  No, we're looking at life.

What works and what doesn't work.  What we will and will not do.  And yet, sometimes it's not all black and white, there is a lot of gray matter in between.  Therein lies fertile ground for compromise, for accepting the unexpected, for owning our part of the struggles and working together for resolution.  I used to be very firm about deal breakers, now I find there is room for adjusting those parameters.  Sure, some are non-negotiable.  Sometimes if I give a little, I get a lot.  Life is like that. Give a little, for the greater good. Give a little in the name of understanding, in the name of faith, in the name of working together.

We are working on a list of 1000 gifts that grace our life.  We're at 135.  Dang we have a long way to go. Ever notice how much easier it is to list the things that aren't right, rather than those that are?  Are you stuck in the good things, or stuck in the bad things in life right now?  Perhaps it's time to turn the page.

You know, sometimes it takes a tragedy to provide a wake up call, sometimes it is simply a quiet resolution to appreciate what we have in all it's messiness, with all it's challenges.  It is our bigger picture at stake.  We can chose our response, and in doing so add to the things that grace our life.

Luke 2:19

But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart. ...  

I feel like I've been in Mary's shoes lately.  Perhaps it's a woman thing, or a Mom thing.  Some of my pondering comes in the form of worry. Try as I might, I struggle with this. Owning it is the first step, you know?  

I ponder the future, the past and the time in between.  I look forward, but can't resist a peek backwards.  I believe since I ponder things that my heart is actively engaged.  That is a good thing my friends.  

Recently I've been pondering the approach of Christmas, the traditions, the celebrations, the fact we don't live in a perfect world.  If things were perfect we could lavish all we love with gifts beyond measure.  Maybe lavishing love beyond measure is the best gift we can give.  Maybe it's human nature to want to go above and beyond, to give big, to show love in tangible ways.  It's humbling to offer just the depth of our love and trust it is good enough.  I tell my kids I wish I could do more, and they tell me I've given them more than they could ever ask for.

Maybe this is love.  You always want to give more and you are unaware how deeply your love touches others. So you give what you have and you ponder all these things in your heart.  And you do it in the company of Mary....so you are not alone.