Stephen 'tWitch" Boss

There is so much media about the loss by suicide of another young celebrity who had it all. I get that. We assume those with golden lives have just that, golden lives. We are appalled it could happen to them. They had it all, the success, the glamor, the family, the career. We don't get it, and we're devastated. I can't speak for Steven 'tWitch" Boss and the choice he made. I can speak for survivors of suicide loss.

It is an unfathomable act with life ending and life changing outcomes. All the circumstances, things, prestige, and glory of their world will not change the damage that is done and the pain it causes the survivors. The loss is tragic. The loss does not end for his loved ones. In fact, it's just beginning. It begins with shock and numbness; it transitions to disbelief and anger. It is a question that racks our brains with no answers. The how could it, the why did it, the what could have changed it. The questions, the self-doubt, the disbelief.

Was it an impulsive moment of despair? Was it planned? Was it someone's fault? Was it a moment of weakness? The bottom line is we do not know what struggles a person faces every day. We don't know when their strength wanes and it all becomes too much. We know help is available, but we will never understand why some people are able to reach out for it and others are not. 

And most, thankfully never experience the stigma that comes with such a loss. It is easy to look from outside and judge, a little self-righteously, while thinking it could never happen to us. It can. Which is frightening in itself. 

It is typical to read the headlines, feel some grief and then go on with life as we know it. Until it is us, and life as we know it is gone. We pray for those who take their life. But we need to pray and support those who carry the weight of that loss. Not just in the days immediately following the death, but in all the days thereafter. We need to make it okay to talk about it, even though we'd prefer to brush it aside, pretend it never happened. That said, I understand that until you walk this path, it's hard to completely understand. Rest assured those walking it don't understand it either. We struggle to talk about it, and we know firsthand. 

I'd like to think it is as simple as checking in on your people, the strong ones and the ones struggling. By all means do that, check often, ask the hard questions. But know that we are often masters of disguise when our mental health is suffering. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. Normalize mental health, normalize mental awareness and selfcare. Normalize the elimination of stigma and enhance compassion in the aftermath of suicide loss.

Owning it is the first step. Take those steps for yourself, and your loved ones.