Yes It Is

I've been asked several times recently, what I'm doing for New Years? I take it literally, as in, what am I doing New Year's Eve. But it's also a question of what I am doing for the next 365 days. 

My initial response was I'm not doing anything. Which as I noodle it, is completely untrue. Let me back up the bus a little, I've never been a fan for New Year's Eve parties. There was always anxiety that a person shouldn't hope for good things, as they don't really happen. That if something good happened, then it had to be "paid" for in some way. I know this is a result of dysfunction in younger years. How sad to struggle with this in little and big ways from childhood on. Owning it is the first step. 

So, while I enjoy small gatherings for celebrations, after a time I long for the quiet of home. That's the introvert in me. I had a lovely invitation for a New Years gathering come my way. I was unable to work out the logistics, but my heart is warm from the invitation. It means everything to be remembered and invited. Everything.

I heard someone say that their resolution for the New Year is to say Yes more to things that scare them. I love that. Sometimes we aren't even aware of why we say no, it just feels safer. There are times it is safer, wiser. There are times it's just a habit that needs to shift. I think you have to say Yes mentally first, perhaps repeatedly. Literally say yes, I will say yes more often. Yes, I will. Yes, I will. This concept hits home for a person who is uncertain of trusting the future. Kinda of mind blowing, right? 

Back to the question of what am I doing New Years. I'd like to rephrase my answer. In fact, I won't say I'm not doing anything. I'm doing something even if it is different than what others are doing. I am going to enjoy a quiet evening. I have a good book to read, I'll be gentle with myself. I'll enjoy the company of my dogs. I'll build a cozy fire, and yes, I'll eat some comfort food. I'll say yes to me and what feels comfortable. I'll look for ways, big and small, in the days ahead that challenge me to say yes to opportunities, connection, and trust. 

As always, I'm being led exactly where I need to be and blessed in ways I couldn't begin to imagine. So, in the year ahead may we find the courage to say yes. Sometimes yes is out there, sometimes it's in our hearts.  It's okay to hope for good things, to look forward with faith. Yes, yes, it is.