New Wheels

The pick-up truck shot craps recently. It was a 2006 and had 210k+ miles on it. It wasn't my truck, it was Gordon's. But it made sense when he died to sell my car, pay off his and use the vehicle that had a newer transmission. It had a dark brown exterior and a black interior. I always wanted to girl it up. I never did. It served us both well.

When it died, it was a huge financial stressor for me. Sometimes we forget how important dependable transportation is. When you live alone it becomes even more critical. So the hunt was on. What I found was an opportunity to weigh my options. To not take the first vehicle that came my way, and to trust the process. I think I wrestled with that most of all. Trusting the process was hard. A woman shopping for a vehicle feels vulnerable, and least this woman did. I spent hours researching vehicles, mpg ratings, owner reviews. None of that mattered as much as trusting the process.

I've never felt like choosing the color was an option I could really afford to base a decision on. And yet, when bartering on the first vehicle I said, I don't like the color, I swore I'd never have a black vehicle again. The pick-up truck offered little trade-in value, yet I had to parlay that as best I could. The first vehicle would have met my needs, but negotiations stalled out. I was willing to let go and let God move me to another option. That was growth for me. 

What I ended up with was way more than I'd hoped for. The bartering was smooth and generous. I had a great team working for me on this. I never actually laid eyes on the vehicle until it was delivered. I researched the model. My son thoroughly inspected it, the dealer I worked with was amazing, but the good Lord was in the driver seat. It's not black, it's not maroon which is my favorite car color, it is white. Clean and full of light. Admittedly I cried at the thought of letting go of the pick-up, of letting go of another tie to a past life. That part is hard. But life leads me on. It brought me a white vehicle (at least until the muddy roads of country life paint it another color). With way more luxuries than I dreamed of. I believe I will name it Bianca. No, I have never named a vehicle in my life. But life is taking me down new roads, so new traditions go with it. While I look longingly at pick-up trucks and what they symbolize, I am embracing a new-to-me SUV. New wheels, new growth, love and light. So glad the stress of that is over, that I owned what worked for me, what didn't, that I trusted the process. New wheels, new blessings and a renewed sense of gratitude. Amen.