Comfort

What gives you comfort? Are we as good at identifying what gives us comfort as we are identifying what doesn't? Granted it is a sifting through of experiences, an evolution of time, growth, loss and revelation that lands us there. Sometimes it takes a large amount of discomfort to find our comfort.

Perhaps our comfort level is tied to early childhood experiences. Perhaps it is related to what we are told to do, to be, not to do, or should do to meet expectations. As children comfort should be as available as air to breathe, food on the table, safe boundaries, encouragement and acceptance. Perhaps it is tied to self understanding, personal responsibility and self care. It is owning what works and doesn't work for us. 

So the challenge, for me, and you is to identify and embrace what gives you comfort. Internally and externally. Maybe this is part of why people lose their way in life. They think it's out there, they're entitled, it comes without a price or investment, it should just be given to them. Happiness is an inside job, so is comfort.

I know it may take years to define it, and it changes along the way. We must find it for ourselves. Others can't do that for us. Sure we try to emulate what ours looks like by what it looks like for others. Thinking someone else's looks like they have more, better. Their comfort, experiences, collections of things, or definitions will not fill our individual needs. 

How often do we think, I would be happy if. If I had, this that or the other. If life wasn't so hard, if there weren't struggles, angst and challenges. If so and so would just grow up, do, say, or act differently. If life was fair. If we won the lottery, if our Fairy God Mother would sprinkle happy dust all over us. If, if, if.

Hard questions. Evolving answers. Individual experiences. But my wish is this. That we can scale down the big picture, silence the noise, release the outside expectations. What brings you comfort. Is it simple pleasures? Genuine, consistent connections. It maybe something out there, it may be something small and meaningful right here. It will be different for you than it is for me. Do not dismiss what works for you by seeing what works for others. We are similar, but different. Piece together a life that gives you comfort. Trust the journey, even when we're not sure we understand it or even like it. We are led right where we need to be, with gifts to give, grace to extend and comfort to enjoy.