3 days 3 weeks 3 months

They say in animal rescue when a new dog comes into your home there is a 3 day 3 week 3 month rule. The first 3 days they are fearful and uncertain, their whole life has changed. They don't know what to expect, it's stressful. At three weeks they are settling in, learning the routine, realizing this may be a permanent place for them, they begin to show their true self. At three months they are comfortable in their new home, they are building trust, and have a sense of security. I'm pretty sure people go through phases like this when circumstances change. The ratio of 3-3-3 is not hard and fast. It varies by situation. 

Even with animals the ratio is an average. We know life doesn't unfold on a set timetable. There are highs, lows, periods of waiting that seem unending. There are stages where your whole world is uprooted, your safety feels shattered, your sense of self lost along with your ability to hope. There are seasons where things settle again and you regain your footing. There are seasons of joy and contentment.

It's okay to take things at your own pace and know the ratio is merely a suggestion. Grief is like that, people who haven't had great losses, may not understand it's a lifelong process. Some people chose to bravely move through the process as best they can. Taking two steps forward, and one step back as needed. Others pause temporarily as they gain strength. Some never recover.

It is a gift to give yourself permission to take your time. Here might not be comfortable, but I'll sit with the icky's until growth moves me along. Here may not be where I want to be, but I won't always be here. Here may be miles away from what was, and miles away from what is meant to be.

Now I'll be the first to say I'd prefer to skip right to the good stuff. Who wouldn't rather bloom without the investment of growing? Can we cut right to dessert (have seconds on it) and pass up our veggies? Can we have the perfect relationship, with ourselves and others, without being present, intentional, invested? Can we bypass the 40 hour work week and zip straight to payday? Yes, yes please! However,under the category of Life Doesn't Work That Way for $200, the answer is nice try, but no such luck.

Your 3 days 3 weeks 3 months, whatever your timetable looks, like is merely a suggestion. The growth, experience, end result is individual and graced in ways we cannot begin to fathom. Divinely lead by a bigger plan.Wrestling with it, pushing it to conform to expectation doesn't work. Like stuffing a big object into a little box. Should fit, might fit, ain't ever gonna fit. 

Give yourself time to evolve. Find some laughter along the way. Trust that all will be well. Know you are not alone. Celebrate the wins however long they take. They are there, some tiny, some huge, some apparent only to you.