Romance

The fact that August 8-14 is National Resurrect Romance week has me thinking. First of all, who thinks up this stuff. And, how do you get a "National _____ Week" anyway? I can think of many "National ______ Week's" I'd like to see happen, but that's another whole blog.

Also, what about the premise of weddings being "romantic". So maybe I'm being a skeptic here. Weddings are pretty scripted, planned, organized and coordinated. With all the details involved they need to be. So with all that planning is it still romantic? If you are passionate about who you are marrying it is.

If you are passionate about how you are living your life you could be a very romantic single. We could be, if we tried, very romantic with ourselves. But generally we apply that term to how we treat our beloved. Maybe the key word is "treat". How do you treat your beloved? When was the last time you treated your beloved?

Plus the backbone of the National Resurrect Romance Week is that being romantic is not about how much money you can spend. It's about making a personal effort to be romantic. Thinking of them first and treating them. Frankly, those are the investments that pay off the best.

Irony

I work in the bridal industry. Not in the wedding apparel industry, but the wedding accessory industry. Reno, is is looking for work, applied for a job with a company who, you guessed it, serves the bridal industry.

Ironic, yes! Whether anything comes of that is to be determined. But think of the dinner time conversations we could have. Think of the perks we could enjoy if we ever really get to planning our own wedding. Think of him advising me on current wedding trends.

Even better, I could turn over all the wedding details to him, and not worry myself sick over the outcome! He could be groom and wedding planner all rolled in to one. I could be bridzilla and he'd slave to make me happy. Oh wait, he does that anyway. We could talk weddings until the cows come home like women just love to do.

Oh wait, maybe not. But a girl can dream can't she?

Ceremony of Hope

We attended my nieces wedding ceremony over the weekend. When you filter out all the pomp and circumstance you get down to the basics. It is a gathering of friends and family to witness a ceremony of hope.

Of course, we all know what we hope for and what we get are often different. We needed to witness that hope, as I am certain others did as well. It affirmed our commitment and came after a bumpy relational week. Fact is, we all have those times.

They say "in good times and in bad", and that is the gospel truth. Any relationship has red letter days, and days you want to run away from home. Learning to weather them takes time. That must the the "time" that is referenced "in good times and in bad".

Angie and Scott's wedding was just what we needed. Even more beautiful it was just what they needed. We could all use some hope. So what could be better than a ceremony of hope.

Time Flies

The plan was, roughly six months ago when we got engaged, to sit down in June with a nice bottle of wine and make wedding plans.

Well, here it is the middle of June and we have good news. We picked out the wine. It's been shipped and will arrive later this week. Suffice it to say we're not rushing into anything.

Compared to young brides (and no offense to said young brides) we are moving slow. There is no mad dash to the altar. I feel less media driven as a bride this time around. I don't have to have it all, in fact I'm not sure at all what I really want. Except for, of course, the groom and the ring. Both delight me to no end.

The wine on order, although made in Italy, was selected in Seattle. Rather deja vu since that is right where we began to seriously consider selecting each other as "the one".

Of course, at this particular moment the name of the wine escapes me. But I remember my beloveds name, and of the two that is most important! Time does fly, especially when someone special graces your life.

Right now the planning is in a passive stage, but we're enjoying that. Much like a nice glass of wine.

What Matters

I polled some of my facebook friends with the following question....If you were getting married again, what three things would be most important for the celebration. I did say that it was a given that the groom is a good guy. So listing a good guy would not count.

After many responses I queried again because no one mention a lovely dress as a requirement. Only one replied and called me a silly goose. She insists a beautiful dress is absolutely a given. Phfewww....

I did ponder that no men answered my initial question. But then, most of my FB friends are women. And what do women love to talk about? Weddings, well, duh.

We do love to talk about, dream about, read about, fantasized about, plan, wonder and experience weddings. My informal survey confirmed having your kids there (if you are a parent) was mandatory, keeping it simple, make it meaningful for the bride and groom, and incorporating personal tastes were important. All that said, I still admit to feeling funny about planning another wedding.

I do not feel funny about the prospect of being married again. Except for the slight worry that I may not live up to expectation. That reality that some days will really bite, that forgiveness is sometimes much like childbirth (exhausting, painful, requires major expulsion of objects), and lastly that I didn't learn near enough the first time around.


I know I'm much smarter, I just hope in the ways that count. I will say, the older I get, the more amazed I am at really young couples marching down the aisle with no fear, little life experience and rusty common sense. True, true, not all of them are like that. More than enough, but not quite all of them.

Ever notice how no one ever says - hey, how do you keep your marriage alive? Or, wow, what's your secret? Yes, when you hit those really significant anniversaries you get asked for the keys to a long (happy) relationship. But, holy moley, many of need to know this stuff now!

Perhaps life is just like that. We have just enough knowledge to get us to the next life lesson. Lessons are good - they teach us what really matters.

Showers

I went to a bridal shower for my niece last weekend. I must admit I re-gifted at it. Actually it was a family piece I gifted.

All of the brides in my family received a Kitchen Madonna when they got married. As I now had mine and my Mom's it seemed like a good time to pass one on. Now, a Kitchen Madonna is a religious ornament that depicts the Mother of Jesus in the kitchen. I never pondered the fact that Mary had to cook, clean and chase after baby Jesus. My guess is she may have spent more time in the kitchen that I ever have.

I realize that modern brides may not take time to honor Mary with a statue or plaque like us old brides grew up doing. Here is my hope. That my niece be blessed in her kitchen and in all the rooms of her marriage. That she always knows she is loved. That her Kitchen Madonna find some small place of honor in her kitchen. That she remembers many Mother's support her journey in life. That life continues to shower her with blessings.

We all have gifts, and sharing, even regifting, is sometimes a very good thing.

Slow Process

There is a lot to be said for finding love again. Granted, some find it again, and again, and again. But, there is even more to say about finding and keeping it. Keeping it may be the most challenging part.

I'm still learning about what I didn't know the first time around. When you pledge your life to one another it includes good days, bad days, pay days, sick days, rainy days and Mondays. You name it - it includes it.

More than once smothering has sounded like a viable solution. Other times, a contemplative life of silence has it's appeal. We were both sick over the weekend. That sucked. He didn't have the energy to nurture me, I was tempted to, well, you know..... Instead I prayed the Serenity Prayer and waited for the urge to pass. I've always been the one who kept going even if I was sick, so it frustrates me when others don't keep plugging away. I'm thinking we can learn from each other on this issue.

I need to gear down a little and someone who's name has not been mentioned can pick up a little slack. And vice versa. It's part of being life partners. It's part of marriage. It may be a slow process, but we're moving in the right direction.