Is It An Age Thing?

I attended a bridal show today. Well, not as a bride-to-be, but as a vendor. Those events amaze me. So many starry eyed brides, Mom's with check books, some grooms in tow (poor fella's), plus a bevy of girlfriends along for the ride. May I just say, the brides are so young!! So, so young, or maybe I'm just getting so, so old.

I like to walk the event and look for the most unexpected vendor there. Naturally I visit the cake vendors along the way. Random taste testing keeps them on their toes.

The booth that gets the award today is one for a plastic surgeons office. Seriously?? I can just picture the bride racing home to her fiancee saying I found the tuxedo's, the flowers, the d.j. And, oh, by the way, I'm getting the boobs you've always wanted. They had a enhance one, get one free special on C cups. When I walk down the aisle my cups will runneth over.

Maybe it's an age thing, but that whole concept makes me sad. Could we get more superficial? Couldn't we just dream of a celebration of two becoming one? Not one becoming enhanced, made-up, dressed to the max with all the trappings, but none of the inside beauty?

Thank God men are so visual. Hopefully, after the big hair is washed out, the Spanx is peeled off, the game day make-up is removed, the fancy dress in hung in the closet, the flowers are tossed, the dog and pony show is over...hopefully, he will find a woman with a heart he loves and cherishes. Then he will see the real beauty of his new bride.

Mothers of The Bride

More and more in the bridal industry I see the Mom's doing the majority of the wedding leg work for the brides. The brides are out-of-town, or so busy they don't have time to shop for the wedding. It seems a rather sad state of affairs.

Granted, some Mom's wouldn't have it any other way. But this Mom, who does not have a daughter in the wedding planning stages, wonders at what this says about life in general. Remember the little girls who couldn't wait to plan every detail of their weddings?? Those same little girls are now to busy to do just that.

Mom's of the bride (and sometimes the grooms) are stepping into the wedding coordinator arena. This Mom would agonize over trying to make any decisions for her daughter. We have the type of relationship where if she likes it, I don't and vice versa. Thank goodness I'm not required to do her wedding shopping. That's not to say I wouldn't be thrilled to have a part in her wedding planning when the time comes. Just not the responsibility for all the decisions or all the leg work to make those decisions.

It's a new world, and truth be told, where would we be without our Mothers? We'd be out shopping for our own wedding and then some.

'Til Death Do We Part

Having been divorced once, this line seems a little dicey to me. I get it's intent. I understand the profound nature of this commitment. I also know that at certain times in a relationship "death" sounds like a viable option.

I'm not referring to anything going on in my life. Things are hunky dory. The irony of this part of wedding vows just hit me.

Then there is the line "in good times and in bad". What if these are the good times? Half of this couple is struggling to find employment in a horrible job market and discouraging economy. If these are the good times, it doesn't bode well for the bad. Plus, I don't even want to consider in "sickness and in health". Let's not jinx anything, okay??

Where does it mention forgiveness in the vows? Because surely he is going to be a man, doing bone head man things. Just as I will be a woman with irrational and crisis ridden moments. We'll both mess up. The best we can hope for is that our melt downs occur on different days.

When we both melt down, let me tell you that "death" clause is oh so tempting. Thankfully, those moments pass quickly, before we can formulate a workable plan. That is where the forgiveness comes into play. And what about laughter?? Do we pledge our hearts to laughter? What about faith, what about communication?

There are so many things written between the lines of wedding vows. We would be wise to read them. Just as we are wise to restrain ourselves from doing bodily harm, to one we love with all our heart.

Movie Weddings

Being a woman, which is synonymous with being a fan of weddings, makes movie weddings even better. If you are getting married, or dreaming of getting married, watching someone else get married is the next best thing.

We watched the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding tonight. It's a classic. Yet, one of those that touches you different each time you watch it. No doubt, because, each time I watch it I'm in a different place in life.

This viewing made me consider the family of the bride. Loud, verbal, rambunctious, bigger than life. At least, bigger than life with my family of origin. Most of my family couldn't be like them for love nor money.

But I can. Okay, in little ways I can stretch myself to new levels of enthusiasm. I can ease out of the past and embrace a new future. I can say "Opa". Yes, yes I can say "Opa". See, we're not even married yet and I'm celebrating.

Eloping

Someone we know and love recently eloped. Back in my day - oh Lordy, can't believe I used that phrase, couples did that instead of having a big wedding. They did it for many reasons, but basically, once you were married, you were married. Now days they do both.

There are destination weddings and big receptions back home. There are vow renewals with all the pomp and circumstance that may not have been had when they first got married.

I have to admit I'm a bit envious they just did it! Perhaps that is youth for you. Jump with both feet and trust. At our age, if we jump will we end up with a broken leg or hip?? I admire their lack of fear, but I wonder about their sense of timing.

Funny how we want it all. Especially when it comes to weddings. I was talking to someone recently who raved about wanting to get married, oh, she just couldn't wait. But in the next breath, she admitted she didn't want to be married, she just wanted a wedding. As a woman, I think we all do. Men? Not so much.

Our dream is the dress, the flowers, the reception, the magic. Men's dream is a recliner, a big screen, hunting/fishing/golfing, some regular sex. Can you see where there might be issues??

Still I admire the newlyweds. I pray for their journey in life. And, I'll envy their walk down the aisle when it happens. It's their dream, and our joy to be part of it.

Internet Dating & other Applications

I have a relative writing a book on Internet dating. My question is how soon will it be published? Many of us, who have dabbled our toes in that pond, or jumped clear into the pool can relate. Many need that book, like...yesterday.

Some may not realize that is how my beloved and I met. Actually, our meeting was part of a bigger plan. But, ultimately, the Internet was the conduit that led from one of us to the other. From one state to another, one time zone to another.

It was a long process, but the beauty of it was neither of us was looking for a long distance relationship. It evolved over a period of time which gave us time to build a good friendship before chancing anything more.

In a time of instant access sometimes things get rushed. We try to cram all kinds of things in and forget that maturity takes time. Well, there is a brilliant comment. Let me quote myself...."maturity takes time". I'm thinking instead of a phone or computer application that plays games, or provides other services, we need an application for maturity. One for faith, humor, commitment and monogamy would be awesome too.

As we look down the road towards a second marriage for both of us we will need this application. We don't know all the secrets to a long, pleasurable and sustaining marriage. We look around us for examples of how we'd like our relationship to be. We see examples of how we never want it to be. We have good days, and days we'd like to throw in the towel. There are days we wonder if the towel is long enough to hang a certain someone by.

We know the Internet brought us together, under the guidance of the big guy upstairs. We know He plays an important role in our life. How we apply our self to this relationship is what defines it.

The gods of Internet dating, and the other one upstairs, certainly blessed us. I would be remiss if I didn't say they both messed with our heads some, and our hearts a lot. No doubt they laughed their you know what off too. But, it's all good and we are grateful. Now, to develop that application.....

Add Some Color

Nothing adds color to your life like love does. And, besides that fact, I just plain love color. Lucky for me I get to work with color every day.

Brides love color too. That is one of the first questions a bride gets asked. What colors are you using? They want to color the very beginning of their marriage with a color that makes them sing. In all honesty I'd never considered color in this way. It was just one of those wedding things you did.

This time around, I'm paying more attention. We all should. Even if you are not getting married, just married or hoping to be married. We need to enjoy the color in our lives. We need to make a conscious effort to embrace it.

Just like in our relationships we need to invite both color and love in. Each and every day.