Walks of Life

It's funny how life unfolds.  Now, my Mom would have asked if I mean "funny, sad" or "funny, haha".  Maybe it's some of each.


When you walk down that aisle it doesn't necessarily end at the altar.  It is one step of many, down the aisle, out of the "church", around the block, across the state.  Sometimes "I do" is a gentle embrace, sometimes it is a wild celebration.  Sometimes it's being dragged kicking and screaming to that new place in life.


It is about finding your way.  We've had a lot of that with getting married, selling a house, moving to a new city, starting new jobs. It's been harder than I thought to make new friends.  But I did ask the receptionist at the chiropractor if she'd like to have coffee sometime.  Life requires big and little leaps of faith.  She said yes, by the way.  


Guess when you look hard enough you find those second chances and new beginnings.  It is just a matter of baby stepping your way through those walks of life.

Oldly-Weds

We are just into our second year of marriage.  I think it's time to report in.  Maybe this blog isn't just about getting married. Perhaps it should be about being married and working to say married.  Because it is work, ya know.


I think we are oldly-weds now.  Not newly married, and older than most newly weds.  We are second timers with a new lease on life. It's had it's challenges.  Up days, down days, what the hell were we thinking days.  Even though we cohabitated for several years it has been a change.  


We moved from a spacious house to a little rental house.  From a big city to a little city.  Truly people should be required to move away from home in their 20's at least once.  I was an underachiever in that regard.


The best part is life as a team, a couple, as spouses.  It is still a celebration.  Well, when I'm not on the outside of the one bathroom door asking when it is my turn.  The wedding was one of the best days of our life, but it was just one day.  The rest is unfolding for us day-by-day.  Good days, bad days, rich and poor days.  Perhaps, we are newly weds as long as we choose to be.  No matter how old we are.

Time of our Life

The big day came and went - just like that. And we had the time of our life.

What would we have done different? Not much. We didn't have enough wine and had too much beer. Oh well, you win some you lose some. I would have gotten a hot pink bra to match my hot pink dress. Then I wouldn't have had a few moments where white peaked out. Oh well. We could have used a little more seating. Wow!! Who knew most everyone would come on a holiday weekend?? What a lovely predicament!!

Did everything go perfect - heavens no! There was the slight problem of us not having had the marriage license notarized prior to the ceremony. Whoops!! Thank God our photographer had a friend who graciously ran down to the reception and helped us with that little detail. That was exciting for a few moments!!

There was also the part in the exchange of vows where the bride and groom got the giggles. He was making faces at me I tell you. After that we couldn't make eye contact at all lest we bust out laughing again. That sums up our life together I'm happy to say.

The best part was that we had the time of our life. The worst part is that it went by so fast. So, so fast. Not bad considering we started planning this wedding five months ago. Not bad at all.....

What a day, what a celebration, what great memories we made in the beginning of our new life together.

Check List...

Groom, check. Dress, check. Rings, check. Family and friends to love us through our journey, check. Sense of humor, check, check, check. Faith, CHECK!! Yup, in preparation for tomorrow's celebration. We have it all.

Here is a visual though. A friend of mine said "wouldn't be cool if when you turned to face the crowd after your vows that in every single chair was a dog (pointers, no doubt) wagging it's fool tail off?" For some people that would be a nightmare. Not for me.

I don't believe in dressing up dogs in little bride and groom outfits. But I do believe in brides and grooms being as in the moment and joyous as dogs are. Dog's don't sweat the small stuff and we know it's all small stuff.

So in my check list I need to add, let heart wag like the tail of a happy dog. Check, check and one more happy check.

High Maintenance

I don't think I have ever been described as high maintenance. Crazy dog lady?? Yes. A bit shy, yes. But pretty much a down-to-earth girl. Make-up takes about 10 minutes from start to finish. Hair about as long as make-up. But, when it comes to preparations for my wedding, I'm crossing over to the dark side.

I now have acrylic nails. I've always wanted long, lovely nails. I wasn't able to grow 4" inches (vertical, not horizontal) before the wedding, but I can have long nails. I think they make me look skinny.

In all honesty, I thought as they were being applied, that I would be completely immobilized by them. They have slowed me down a little as I get used to them. But, they make me look skinny, so I don't mind being slow. It gives me time to savor the experience. I do wonder how on earth I'll be able to pull my Spanx up to cover a multitude of sins when I dress for the wedding. My girlfriends keep telling me if I need help just ask - hahahahaaaaa.

I think this will be a one time thing. Just something to primp for the wedding. Several weeks from now I'll go back to my normal working girl hands. Hands that dig in the dirt, create, and take a little abuse. For this week I'll indulge in a little maintenance. It's okay to do that...I'm the bride.

Jitters

The dance the Jitterbug must have been created by a bride-to-be. But overall, I think having jitters is probably a good thing.

The first time around, many many moons ago, I was blissfully unaware of anything but the wedding. He was perfect, I was perfect, life was perfect...all systems go. Boy was I clueless!! This time around I am ever so aware of how not perfect we are and how much more faith has to do with the success of a marriage.

For every time I may roll eyes at something my beloved does, I know he has ample opportunity to do the same. Frankly, this time around it is scarier. That's probably because I wasn't smart enough to be scared the first time around. I am experiencing post traumatic first marriage jitters and jitters for our pending wedding.

Do I doubt that it's the right thing to do? Heaven's no. Do I worry? Oh yes, because I am a woman, and because I am more of a realist now. I worry whether being married will easier or more difficult. I wonder if we'll be lazy about investing in our relationship after the I Do's. I wonder what challenges lay ahead. I wonder if my feet will hurt during the reception, and if my dress will make me look fat. I wonder if I've forgotten anything totally important for the ceremony and reception. I wonder if the airport will close due to flooding making things crazy for our guests.

Jitters? Yup, checking them off the list of things occurring before the wedding. Accepting them, understanding some are valid, some are manufactured and all are okay. Knowing this too will pass and I'm perfectly normal, jitters and all.

Now I Know

I have such an enhanced understanding of brides now that I am a bride, or a repeat bride, whatever you wish to call it. Maybe I'm an encore Bride, or a born again bride, or a repeat offender bride. But, plain and simple, now I know.

I know that no matter how careful you are the budget can take on a life of it's own. I know that what I want to do, and what I can afford to do are a gazillion $'s apart. I also know, after all is said and done most people will only remember it was lovely and the food was good. And, of course that the bride was stunning. Other than that the details will be generalized into an overall memory.

I know that if we can laugh though what ever little things go wrong, and they will, it will all be okay. We will be just as married if there aren't enough chairs, or if there is a horrible food faux pas. For the record I do not wish to jinx the caterer....that is just a random example.

The wedding isn't the celebration and the marriage is not the wedding. The marriage is the sacred part, the rest is just sharing our joy. No amount of money spent can express the depth of that joy. This I know.