Transition

There is something to be said for pulling up roots and moving into a new adventure. I believe crazy comes to mind, insane and stressful. I'll admit to feeling very displaced lately. Home isn't where it was and isn't on the horizon yet. I've heard those voices of self criticism whispering...you have no idea what you're doing, you gave up something you knew and loved for the unknown. See, even here loneliness and tears follow you. Even here, some of the stigma finds you. Ahhh, those voices. Don't tell me you don't hear them too, even if your message isn't the same as mine.

I'm going to own that it's hard. Yup, part of it sucks. But not all of it, so I try not to lose sight of that. We all go through massive life changes. When I got married nine years ago I gave up my house, my job, the city I'd lived in all my life. I was a weepy mess. Almost 2 1/2 years ago the upheaval of Gordon's death threw me into a tail spin. That's been slower recover from. Not that one ever really recovers. Eventually you just pick up the broken pieces and reshape your life. Rather ironic that reshaping my life again involves giving up my house, my job and a town I grew to love.

I've been a little remiss in reminding myself I am doing hard hard things. That I'm going to be okay. That I don't have to get everything perfect. That I'm not alone. That patience and faith will bless me down the road. I haven't reminded myself to breathe nearly enough. I've forgotten I can encourage myself and others. In fact, it's mandatory.

So in the midst of the hard I offer soft words of support. In this displacement I will count blessings and know I'll find my balance. I'll try to not be overwhelmed by the vast changes, and hold tight to small comforts. And...as needed I'll let the tears wash away the losses and strengthen me on the other side.